What's Up With Iowa?

Well, there is at least one Republican I can get behind:

Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested that AIG executives should accept responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

The Republican lawmaker's harsh comments came during an interview Monday with Cedar Rapids, Iowa, radio station WMT. They echo remarks he has made in the past about corporate executives and public apologies, but went further in suggesting suicide.

"I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed," Grassley said. "But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.

"And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology."

Well said.

The New Face(s) of the Republican Party

Republicans are trying to re-brand themselves. Realizing that they look like a bunch of old rich racish white guys that don't understand "the email," they are trying to give themselves a new face that will appeal to the broader public. And here, apparently, are their choices:



Bobby Jindal is the governor of Louisiana. He would be a great face to re-shape the Republican party - he is young (born in 1971), he is Indian (not Black so thy are not copying the Democrats!), conservative and... charming? Sure, why not. Charming.

The problem is that in addition to all of those things, no one really likes him. From Wikipedia:

Reactions to Jindal's speech and delivery were mostly negative, including those of fellow Republicans. Conservative commentators were among the harshest critics, calling his speech "amateurish", "childish", "stale", "insane", "a flop", and "a disaster for the Republican Party". Gail Collins, in her syndicated column emanating from the New York Times and published in Louisiana's Times-Picayune, zeroed in on Jindal's delivery, which, according to Collins, "sounded a little like a junior high schooler's entry into the Chamber of Commerce 'I Speak for Fiscal Restraint' contest."

Apologies for the Wikipedia reference but it is the easiest summary I have been able to find (a few links: 1, 2, 3). Regardless, no one likes him. And while one speech does not determine a presidency, it certainly isn't going to help the Republicans for a while. He may yet help them again in 2012 or 2014, but by then it may be too late to save their party.



Michael Steele - He's just like Barack Obama, except a stereotype!!!

In the last month, Steele has already used more youth slang from the late 1990's than Barack Obama has uttered in the last 10 years. While Republicans think they have offered up their version of the current president, what they have really offered is, by far, the least inspiring black political leader in the history of the world. He's uncharismatic, too conservative to ever match youth beliefs, unfunny, and has absolutely no pulse on current cultural dynamics. Way to go, Republicans.



Seriously, Fuck Joe the Plumber.

GM called me the other day. They asked me if I could find something that embodies their car lines - something that says "General Motors Makes High Quality Cars Made for You!" After hanging up the phone, I went to QFC and bought 3 boxes of Fiber one. 2 days later I went to the bathroom. I then scooped up the contents and froze them. Later, I took it out of the freezer, used a carving knife to fashion a Hummer H3, and handed it in to General Motors.

Yes kids, Joe the Plumber is the Republican's Hummer H3 carved out of frozen shit.



And the number one new face of the Republican party is ... (drumroll) ...

An Old Rich Racist White Guy! Woo!!! Hey, wait a minute. That's the same!

Rush Limbaugh is the Karl Rove of the Republican party, except unlike Karl Rove, Rush is significantly less intelligent and will never, ever, convince younger generations of non-idiots to vote for Republicans. He represents both the downfall of the Republican party (good) as well as the downfall of American society (bad). He spews hate speech and has a 20 million person following that is both dangerous and gullible. As long as he is the face of the Republicans, the Republicans are going to shrink to the point of being irrelevant. But as long as he controls 20 million people, he has a very frightening army of citizens that listen to his hate speech and blow it even further out of proportion.

So that's it. Those are the new faces of the Republican party. A governor no one likes, a chairman no one will like, an idiot, and a louder idiot. I don't think the re-brand is going well.

Well You Done Done Me and You Bet I Felt It

Jealous that the black guy gets more attention than he does, Jorge Bush Jr. decided to give a speech of his own. After crying for an hour in his dressing room about how people keep picking on him, the younger George got on stage and tried to copy Barack Obama's speech about hope roughly as verbatim as Obama's Mario Cuomo speech (of, to, we). No one cared.

In other news, Republicans decide that the Internet is totally awesome and a great way to pick up some mad cash, yo. Now they've got this awesome thing that totally works. All you need to do is put their toolbar on your browser and you are officially a better American! Also the RNC gets a few pennies every time you make a search using their toolbar. But more importantly you are a better American!!! (Note: Not a tax write-off)

Finally, Fox News photoshops the photos of Democrats and liberal activists they are talking about or have to interview in order to make them look uglier. Ironically, Sean Hannity still looks like the rancid anus of opossum roadkill. You'd think they'd do something about that. Might I suggest this?

Is Barack Obama president yet?

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours
- Jason Mraz/Barack Obama

Post from DailyKos

I had to post this here. Sorry DKos, but this is too funny. This is the new logo for the GOP 2008 Convention:

And yes, this is real, not an extremely clever photoshop job, and truly encapsulates what the Republican Party is all about.

Wide stance? Check.

In Minneapolis? Check.

Prison stripe-wearing? Check.

Starry eyed? Check.

As for the elephant humping the "2008"...

Are they going for a "Still screwing the country in 2008" theme, or is it a reference to hypocritical adulterers like David Vitter and just about the entire Republican presidential field?

All of the above? Check!

Apparently they ran out of space for a collapsing bridge.

Update: Can't you just picture the Daily Show and Colbert Report writers salivating at the possibilities?

Update II: From the comments:

- The Blue-to-Red ratio looks to be about 80%-20%. That sounds about right for the 2008 election too.

- [I]t looks like the elephant is wrapping himself in the flag.

- Very appropriate for 2008. The elephant has Assumed the Position

- Crapping on Minneapolis?

- Elephants only stand on their hind legs for one thing; count on the Extinction Party to know nothing of their habits.

- [N]ot to mention that the head looks like a snake coming out of a monkey's ass.

And okay, this is my new favorite:

- Total roadkill. [I]t really does look like an elephant that just got ran over by a truck and is now splattered and dazed on the ground, covered in skid marks.

And more from what might be one of the funniest threads ever on this site:

- The Lone Star eye of Texas is trained on the "con" in convention. How appropriate

- The head looks like it is partially decapitated.

- An elephant never forgets how.

- Judging by the shape of the eye, I'd say he's been shot in the face by Cheney.

That's a Bad President. Bad! Get in your Cage.

Yesterday the Senate Republicans picked up where they left off as the majority: By doing absolutely nothing.

Republicans blocked debate on a non-binding resolution over the "President's" Iraq policy. For those who don't know, a non-binding resolution is the political equivalent to a harsh wagging of the finger and the phrase "you're in a serious time out mister" only to give the child candy because his face turns red and you feel bad. But still the debate could have opened doors towards a more binding resolution (like, say, one that binds) and eventually put enough pressure on the "President" to change the Iraq strategy to something that may, in fact, work.

Originally the resolution was drafted with bipartisanship by Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Carl Levin (D-MI), and although it was not necessarily expected to receive the 60 votes necessary to pass the resolution, it was at least opening the floor to a spirited debate that could set the tone for the country and possibly the war. But just as guests on Jerry Springer flip off the audience and scream bratty obscenities and the phrase "you don't know me, I'll do what I want," so did the Republicans, as even John Warner voted against the debate for the plan he himself helped create.

From the New York Times:

Republicans had laid a bit of a trap for Democrats, seeking a 60-vote threshold for competing resolutions on the war. They knew that the bipartisan plan by Senators John W. Warner, Republican of Virginia, and Carl Levin, Democrat of Michigan, did not have 60 votes. But the plan calling for no reductions in spending, written by Senator Judd Gregg, Republican of New Hampshire, was likely to get at least 60, meaning the only resolution that would have passed would have been one that essentially backed the president.

And since there will be no backing of the "President" with the Democratic congress, the debate on whether to have the debate about the/a resolution was killed.

So way to not do anything again Republicans. Way to not make headway and pretend everything is going to be okay. Way to waste yet another day while our soldiers die in Iraq. Way to be.

"It is understandable that neither the US nor the British governments should want a debate on the failing war. But there is something wrong with a democracy in which congressmen want to hold the debate, one the American public desperately want to hear, and yet are blocked for narrow political reasons.

...

There are few more important issues confronting the US today - citizens of another country being killed in large numbers as well as their own troops - and it is shameful that America is denied, and denies itself, this debate."

--Ewen Macaskill

A List of Republicans that Molested Children

Also from GLH:

A comprehensive list of Republican politicians and activists who have molested children. http://www.armchairsubversive.com/

I didn't know REPUBLICAN was an Acronym for:

Racist
Evangelicals
Purport
Uprightness
But
Lure
Innocent
Children
At
Night

I welcome your alternate acronyms.

Democrats and Republicans Agree - WTF?

Today marks a strange occurrence. There is a buzz travelling across the country. It seems that, however so slightly, Democrats and Republicans are actually in agreement about something: The escalation of the war won't solve anything.

But there is yet another interesting change in events.

Democrats, who are primary against the war and only grow stronger in their beliefs in each passing day, tend to be viewing the increase in troops as a waste of time, and view the "plan" with a resigned indignation brought on by their faithlessness in the President. <-- This, of course, is nothing new.

Where the real surprise arises is that Republicans are the ones who are actually pissed at the president for not pulling troops out. From the New York Times:

“What I don’t understand is who the president is listening to,” said Mr. Polidoro, a life-long Republican who like a majority in this Republican district voted for an anti-war Democrat in the last election. “If vets, military brass, the Baker Committee, the international community and now most voters say it’s time to get out, then in my view it’s time to get out.”

For over 3 years now, Democrats have been urging not just the president, but the entire country to get the troops out of Iraq, and as time passed we felt our voices fading against a thick, dense wall. The president's new proposal didn't shock Democratic citizens into an anti-war tirade because we have been kept silent by an incompetent boob who decides everything on his own, regardless of public opinion.

But the Republicans are finally the ones angry. They are finally turning off Fox News and watching MSNBC. They are finally not listening to conservative robots like Michelle Malkin and Sean Hannity spew BS like Diarrhea out their mouths, and starting to ask the question:

WTF?

Senator Gordon Smith - The Man, The Myth, The YouTube Video

I tried to find the full speech on YouTube, but I couldn't. However, the complete speech can be found here, with a link to the speech on the senate website as well as the full transcript. MyDD has a good take on the speech as well.

He has done what few Republicans have been willing to do. He has taken responsibility, and dismissed the Republican propaganda.

"Let's cut and run. Or cut and walk."

Genius.

The Republican Senator also says "I, for one, am at the end of my rope when it comes to supporting a policy that has our soldiers patrolling the same streets in the same way, being blown up by the same bombs day after day. That is absurd. It may even be criminal."

He has taken the one small step for man, one giant leap for the GOP. I'm interested to see if the dominoes continue to fall.

Virginia Congressman: Bringing the "Ku" back to "Republikun"

Known puppy kicker Virgil H. Goode, Republican of Virginia, wrote in letter to his constituents that the election of Keith Ellison, the Muslim Minnesota Democrat, "posed a serious threat to the nation's traditional values" and that Americans should “wake up” or else there would “likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran.” Quotes the New York Times. “I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped."

It's funny, I didn't realize "Virgil" was spelled with three K's.

To point out the letter's inaccuracies would be superfluous. But I will do it anyway. FIRST, Mr. Ellison is a converted Muslim. SECOND, he is not an immigrant. He has roots in this country since 1742, due mostly in part to him being African American, and not - as Grand Wizard, er, Representative Goode seems to think - middle eastern. THIRD, his letter was prompted because Ellison apparently wanted the Koran at his inauguration. But it is important to note that there is no Bible or Koran at the actual inauguration, because that is barred by the constitution, so the Koran would only be with Mr. Ellison at private ceremonies.

Virgil, or as he is known by Heaven, "uninvited," made no apologies for his blatantly ignorant remarks. So in the spirit of bipartisanship I will do it for him:

"I'm sorry I'm a stereotype of the Republican Party. I'm sorry my mom and my brother/dad didn't raise me to understand that America, known as a 'melting pot' of diversity, wasn't supposed to be a mixture of only vanilla and white chocolate. But most of all, I'm sorry I was born with tiny, triangle shaped testicles."

You will be forgiven in time, Virgil. But what's with yet another penis joke on my blog? That's totally un-Ku.

A Look Back, at a Republican Controlled Congress

Saturday marked the end of a Republican majority in congress. I think we should take a moment to look back at what has been accomplished over these last 12 years.

Um... Anyone? Something Accomplished? Oh, there was that flag burning amendm..... no, wait, that didn't pass. They banned gay... no, no they didn't do that. They reduced the deficit - no. Well, at least they gave tax cuts to the wealthiest 1%, which although I am firmly against, I do hope to be one someday, so that will be a nice perk.

For those of you that don't know, under the new Bush tax cut, if I make $1,000,000, I save $30,210! That's a little over 3%!!!! Or, if you're one of those poor saps who makes only 45,000 a year, you save a whopping 226 dollars! 0.50% of your total income! Fantastic! Don't even get me started on how much you save if you make only 18,000 a year (hint: 50 male deers).

Wow, totally worth ruining the entire country. Do your own math here.

But let's really do a run-down of the things the Republican majority has accomplished. They pass the prescription drug plan, which I hear the elderly have finally begun to understand the choices. They also banned partial birth abortions. Which, again, are not things. They "Canned Spam" - tell that to my yahoo account.

There was "No child left behind." Although plenty of children do have no health care, but at least they're not left behind. Instead they are "held back." Totally different.

And last, but certainly least: The Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act. Thank God, about freakin' time.

I can't wait until January 4th.