Saturday, March 31, 2007

George Bush's Job Performance Review

Performance Review Form


Employee: George W. Bush


Title: President


Department: Executive


Review Period: March 2006 – March 2007

Job Responsibilities (Employee Comments)
Please briefly describe.

The decider. Breaking taxes for rich people. Listening to advice from Dick and Condi. Working Saturdays, sometimes even Sundays. Hard work. Strategery. Listening to the American people. Listening in on the American people. Commandering the troops.

Accomplishments (Employee Comments)
Please list your top three accomplishments this year.

1. Surged Troops

2. Pronounced “Micromanage” correctly over 15 times!

3. Kept my approval rating from dropping more than 5 percent during the whole year.

Accomplishments (Manager Comments)
Please list this individuals top three accomplishments this year.

1. Fired Rumsfeld

2. Created More Jobs United the American People Successfully Lead the Country Fired Walter Reed Generals Weightman, Harvey and Kiley. I call them the Weightster, the Harvster, and the Kilester.

3. … Found Barney’s rubber ball?

Strengths (Employee Comments)
Please list your top three strengths, and after each, give a specific example of an instance where this strength was exemplified.

1. Decidering

2. Public Speaking

3. Good judge of character.

Strengths (Manager Comments)
Please list this individual's top three strengths, and after each, give a specific example of an instance where this strength was exemplified.

1. Nickname generation

2. Has nice hair

3. Douchebaggery Attractive daughters Steadfastness

Opportunities for Improvement (Employee Comments)
Please list three areas where you could improve and develop performance.

1. Learning to be more of a uniter, not a divider

2. Increase my dictionariage.

3. Watch more Fox News.

Opportunities for Improvement (Manager Comments)
Please list three areas where this individual could improve and develop performance.

1. Iraq

2. Intelligence

3. Leadership, decision making ability, parenting skills, open-mindedness…

Goals/Objectives for the coming year. Please include development planning and training (Manager Comments)

Since Bush’s development has stalled due to the drug use in his youth, the goals for 2007-2008 involve pulling soldiers out of Iraq, learning to understand the environment, taking blame for his subordinates and not performing sexual favors for oil companies.

Overall Performance Rating- completed by Manager

[] Outstanding - Performance consistently far exceeds job requirements.


[] Successful
- Performance fully meets job requirements.


[X] Needs Improvement
- Performance may meet some, but not all, job requirements.

Overall Manager Comments

Suffers form narcissistic personality disorder. Projects blame onto others. Fails miserably in leadership and decision making. Often refers to himself as if messianic. Struggles to understand even basic government principals. Has difficulty firing poor employees. Believes the “jury is still out” on evolution. Often makes annoying farting noises at work and refers to high government level employees with inappropriate nicknames like “Turd Blossom” and “Congressman Kickass.” Made fun of Blind Reporter. Fails to understand percentages when discussing approval ratings. Has difficultly changing failed policies. Tends to hire personal friends.

Employee Comments (optional)

I’m the decider. And where mistakes were made… The responsibility rests with me.


Employee Signature

03/31/07

Date

Note: this signature only indicates receipt of the review; not agreement


Manager Signature

03/31/07

Date

God

Up-One-Level Signature

03/31/07

Date

1 comment:

Sonny Morningstar said...

That is so awesome. Nice job (Librocrat, NOT Bush)!