Virginia Congressman: Bringing the "Ku" back to "Republikun"

Known puppy kicker Virgil H. Goode, Republican of Virginia, wrote in letter to his constituents that the election of Keith Ellison, the Muslim Minnesota Democrat, "posed a serious threat to the nation's traditional values" and that Americans should “wake up” or else there would “likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran.” Quotes the New York Times. “I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped."

It's funny, I didn't realize "Virgil" was spelled with three K's.

To point out the letter's inaccuracies would be superfluous. But I will do it anyway. FIRST, Mr. Ellison is a converted Muslim. SECOND, he is not an immigrant. He has roots in this country since 1742, due mostly in part to him being African American, and not - as Grand Wizard, er, Representative Goode seems to think - middle eastern. THIRD, his letter was prompted because Ellison apparently wanted the Koran at his inauguration. But it is important to note that there is no Bible or Koran at the actual inauguration, because that is barred by the constitution, so the Koran would only be with Mr. Ellison at private ceremonies.

Virgil, or as he is known by Heaven, "uninvited," made no apologies for his blatantly ignorant remarks. So in the spirit of bipartisanship I will do it for him:

"I'm sorry I'm a stereotype of the Republican Party. I'm sorry my mom and my brother/dad didn't raise me to understand that America, known as a 'melting pot' of diversity, wasn't supposed to be a mixture of only vanilla and white chocolate. But most of all, I'm sorry I was born with tiny, triangle shaped testicles."

You will be forgiven in time, Virgil. But what's with yet another penis joke on my blog? That's totally un-Ku.