Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
- Queen

Yet another GOP lawmaker is gone amidst "revelations he had sex with a man he met at an erotic-video store while in Spokane on a GOP retreat." But was he in his wide stance with his hammer pants?

In a written statement, Rep. Richard Curtis, of La Center, Clark County, said that while he believes he's done a lot of good during his time in the Legislature, "events that have recently come to light have hurt a lot of people."

"I sincerely apologize for any pain my actions may have caused," he wrote. "This has been damaging to my family, and I don't want to subject them to any additional pain that might result from carrying out this matter under the scrutiny that comes with holding public office."

The other man came forward after Curtis failed to pay the 1,000 dollars he promised for the sex.

Elected to the state House of Representatives in 2004, he voted in 2005 and 2006 against a bill that granted civil-rights protections to gays and lesbians, and in 2007 voted against a bill that created domestic partnerships for same-sex couples.

Oh homophobic Republican lawmakers. Is there no man you won't sleep with and deny?

Found this Cheney Halloween Cartoon

Over at Kiko's House:

Non Story? Or Big Story?

Cheney went hunting and did not shoot his best friend in the face. But not to be completely lapped in hilarity, he did decide to go use a hunting grounds with a confederate flag hanging from the doorway.

UNION VALE, N.Y. (Oct. 30) -- Vice President Dick Cheney spent about eight hours hunting Monday at a secluded Hudson Valley gun club where well-heeled enthusiasts shoot ducks and pheasants.

It was Cheney's second visit to Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club in Dutchess County, about 70 miles north of New York City. The previous trip was in fall 2001.

Although a heavy police presence kept the media and curious local residents at a distance, Cheney's visit did stir up a bit of controversy when a New York Daily News photographer snapped a picture of a small Confederate flag hanging inside a garage on the hunt club property.

The photo was shown to New York City civil rights activist, the Rev. Al Sharpton, who issued a statement demanding that the vice president "leave immediately, denounce the club and apologize for going to a club that represents lynching, hate and murder to black people."

In general, I'd say this is a "meh" issue. It was a tiny flag, he could have easily not realized it was there, and there are reports that the door wasn't even open when Cheney entered the compounds. Regardless, however, in the wake of Kanye West's "George Bush doesn't care about black people," Katrina, and the recent overwhelming response to the San Diego fires and touting how FEMA is now reformed and working well, Cheney should still apologize to send the message that black relations are taken into account for small things as well as for big things. It's a small gesture that I believe he has to do.

But he won't, since he's probably asleep.

(photo from helpbuythebeer.org)

FEMA Spokesman Fired for Fake News Conference About Fires in California

This is a bit of a late post - but the story is that FEMA, in an effort to try to show they are doing better with the media (and their response to disasters), set up a fake news conference last week complete with fake reporters (FEMA employees posing as members of the press) and fake, easy, soft questions so that Harvey Johnson, the deputy administrator for FEMA could answer as many questions as possible by praising FEMA's response to the fires.

Not surprisingly, most of the press conference was shown on Fox News.

To read up on the whole back story, check out this article by Al Kamen of the Washington Post.

However, the White House actually did something right - at least semi-right. As of today, Pat Philbin, the FEMA external affairs director will not be promoted to director of public affairs as originally scheduled. However, it is the feeling of this website that anything short of being immediately fired is inadequate. Michael Chertoff himself said "I think it was one of the dumbest and most inappropriate things I've ever seen since I've been in government."

If Chertoff thinks that, you know it must have been Katrina.

Bad... I meant "Bad." You know it must have been bad. I don't know how I wrote Katrina.

Daily Observation

Often times you see on personal ads or on television someone describing themselves as a person who "likes to have a good time." People say "I like to go out and have a good time." Or "I like watching movies and having a good time."

Is there anyone that does not like to have a good time? Is there someone who is getting ready for a date and thinks to themselves "This better not be another god damn good time. I want a bad time, or I'm going to be really pissed off."

I want to read the personal ad that goes: "I like to stay inside and be absolutely miserable with someone, so that I retch in their company."

See? That's honesty. I would never talk to that person, ever, but at least you know they're honest.

Trinity Vs. Millsaps - October 27th, 2007

This has to be one of the greatest plays in all of football/sports history. 2 seconds left in the game, with Trinity losing and Trinity with the ball for the final play of the game. Lateral, Lateral, Lateral. That's all I'm saying.

Sorry this isn't about politics, but I had to share it.

Man Tosses Puppy From Balcony

He got what he deserved:

Man gets 3 years for tossing puppy from balcony

By The Associated Press

CHARLESTON, S.C. — An incredulous judge sentenced a man to three years in prison for tossing a 10-week-old puppy off an apartment balcony during an argument with his girlfriend.

The puppy was in a soft-sided container, suffered head injuries and had to be put to death.

Javon Patrick Morris, 22, apologized for throwing the puppy off the balcony last March and pleaded guilty to animal cruelty.

"You mean he threw a helpless animal off three floors because he was mad at someone?" Circuit Judge Edward Cottingham asked a prosecutor before sentencing Thursday.

The judge, who has owned nine dogs, said he was obligated to issue a tough sentence.

"There is nobody in this world that can understand that," Cottingham said.

He sentenced Morris to five years, suspended to three years in prison and two years of probation. He also ordered Morris, who will be eligible for parole in 20 months, to get anger management counseling.

"I've got to send a message to all dog lovers that we are going to protect that interest in our courtrooms," Cottingham said.

The puppy (fake artist's approximation)

Easing Up on Gun Restrictions

New rule -

If the Republicans want to make battle weapons legal in the United States, then they should restrict those rights to this gun only:

That way, if they decide to go on a murderous rampage, they have to be okay with their gun making them look soft. And, since they're already okay with teaching their kids that guns are your friend, they may as well have a fun design so that the kids can play with them when they're away.

Maybe they can get a child size version of The Back Up and then they can give this gun to their baby girls. That would be super.

"Hello Kitty says 'Yippee Ki-yay mother fucker.'"

You've Got To Be F'n Kidding Me

This is the sickest crap ever. It's called "The Back Up" and supposedly it's a gun rack for your shotgun, as per the 2nd amendment, that rests next to your bed... in case the British attack in the night? All I see is some child shooting themself in the face when their parents slept through their alarms and are running late for church. What a stupid piece of crap this is.

Someone should bring this sign to all Republican debates

This is from www.xkcd.com

Conservatives and Liberals have Different Brains

Sorry for the light posting, I'm working on a few side projects unrelated to the awesomeness that is this blog (Oh yes, I said it).

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. A study by researches and NYU and UCLA, reported in the journal of natural sciences and written about in the Seattle Times, says that a certain part of the brain related to decision making, flexible thinking and problem solving strategies reacted differently between liberals and conservatives. "The brain region in question helps people shift gears when their usual response would be inappropriate, supporting the notion that liberals are more flexible in their thinking."

Participants were college students whose politics ranged from "very liberal" to "very conservative." Scientists instructed them to tap a keyboard when an M appeared on a computer monitor and to refrain from tapping when they saw a W.

M appeared four times more frequently than W, conditioning participants to press a key in knee-jerk fashion whenever they saw a letter.

Each participant was wired to an electroencephalograph that recorded activity in their anterior cingulate cortex, the part of the brain that detects conflicts between a habitual tendency (pressing a key) and a more appropriate response (not pressing the key). Liberals had more brain activity and made fewer mistakes than conservatives when they saw a W, researchers said. Liberals and conservatives were equally accurate in recognizing M.

Researchers obtained the same results when they repeated the experiment in reverse, asking another set of participants to tap when they saw W.

The results of the study were not meant to apply to the correctness of either strategy or to indicate the correctness of either political belief (there is no "ideal" brain functioning strategy, so that it is not better to be conservative or liberal when it comes to flexible decision making or vice versa).

Analyzing the data, Sulloway said liberals were 4.9 times more likely than conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts and were 2.2 times more likely to score in the top half of the distribution for accuracy.

Read the whole article here.

Maureen Dowd's Best Article Yet?

From the New York Times:

A Mock Columnist, Amok
by Maureen Dowd

I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.

He was sneering that Times columns make good “kindling.” He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, “it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.” He was observing, approvingly, that “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”

I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to “shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.”

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)

By STEPHEN COLBERT

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.

Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.

While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where’s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)

Others point to my new bestseller, “I Am America (And So Can You!)” noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.

Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.” On the elderly: “They look like lizards.”

Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.

What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.

Today's Humbling Moment

Here's a question: Without looking it up in google, what color is Chartreuse?

I know the answer, so I don't need it from you. I am only asking what people think it is when they hear the color, because as far as I can tell, most people think it is a different color than it actually is.

See, Idaho... This is why no one likes you.

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- Sen. Larry Craig was named Saturday night to the Idaho Hall of Fame, marking the Republican lawmaker's first ceremonial appearance back in his home state since his arrest in an airport bathroom sex sting became public in August.

WHY?

Search terms to hit my site

Since no one reads this blog regularly anymore, almost all of my hits come from searches. In the past two months, here are some of the interesting ones:

- intelligent penis
- wrinkled penis
-"why size does matter" +penis
- blogspot jockstrap
- bill gates is a stupid asshole
- build your own kerosene refrigerator
- can you tell someone anonymously that you have an std
- erotic pictures of speaker nancy pelosi
- fat jock strap
- fuck you you stupid asshole
- gay porn obituaries
- get dick sleep
- how do i know if my bearded dragonj is giving birth
- how to money off of paper ninja stars if your a kid
- japanese ewes bushes
- lesbian sex video evacuate
- miniature poodles in bangalore
- mitt romney is a douchebag
- pix of stoned ladies in iran
- smurf amniocentesis
- why is my penis wrinkled?

What have we learned? We've learned that for some reason, I rank really high up in searches that mention the word "penis." We've also learned that google allows you to search for damn near anything.

We have also learned that by posting this, I'm sure to get searches that are just as bad. Luckily they'll get to this page and turn back.