Saturday, February 21, 2009

Carmageddon

The car companies have three choices - fail, succeed with government funds, or be bought by the government. Failing is not really an option. Succeeding is not a possibility. Being bought by the government isn't a recipe for success. There is pretty much guaranteed failure all around.

I have no thoughts. I don't think the car companies can go under, but everyone with 1/3rd of a brain has known for years that the "we will buy big cars and not give a shit about gas mileage" philosophy was going to bite them in the ass. They blame the economy, but their cars are pieces of shit, and the fact that they can haul a truck doesn't matter when no one needs to haul anything.

In fact... what a bunch of complete idiots. Who the hell was in charge of those companies?

Whatever. It's over. The car companies as they were have no chance. But if I were to make any suggestions:

- If you stick around, stop trying to remake these shitty brands. Oh WOW, you shut down Pontiac!!!! Big deal. Why not just make a new car brand? Call it "Xcite." Get people Xcited. Make the cars better. No one actually gives a crap what brand it is under as long as it is a good car.

- Show at least SOME devotion to making better cars. Instead of asking just for bailout money, ask for money to research Hybrids and make cars with significantly higher gas mileage. DO SOMETHING.

- DO SOMETHING.

- Firing people does not solve the problem. That's just less people to buy your cars.

- If you have more cars than you have people to buy them, why not lower the prices on all your cars dramatically to flood some capital into your business. What's the point of keeping them there? They aren't going anywhere, and by the time they are (4, 5 years?) they'll be useless and outdated, from a car company that has gone out of business. You want to impress me? Sell the Cadillac Escalade hybrid for 15,000 dollars or less. I'll buy it.

- Make cars like the iPod. Make them ridiculously gadget-filled and equally affordable. Make. Better. Cars. If a single car has a gas mileage under 35 mpg, it's a shitty car that no one will buy.

- Stop trying to just get money from the government. Partner with the government. Give them an investment so that you can achieve mutual success.

That's all I can think of. It's the end of days of these car companies. At the very least, they can try to actually do something of value.

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