Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Happyish Ending

This is not political. Do you recall the story of the Judge who sued his dry cleaner's for 54 million dollars for "losing" his pants? He lost the case and he lost his job. He is, probably, the worst person in the world, and he should be banned from working for anyone, ever. He should be counter sued for his racist and frivolous lawsuit.

The couple was forced to sell their cleaners.

He is the man on the left. His name is Roy Pearson, and he is an embarrassment.

The couple on the right is Jin and Soo Chung. They are not an embarrassment. Please consider these two statements if you happen to meet them in your travels.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Republican Opportunists

Benazir Bhutto, leader of the opposition group to the Pakistani Government and as important a figure to Pakistan as Bill Clinton is to the US, gets assassinated. What do you think would be the appropriate response from a Republican Presidential Candidate?

Is it:

a) Share a moment of silence and prayer for Bhutto, her family, her supporters who died in the suicide attack and the dangerous situation in Pakistan.
b) Argue that terrorism needs to be stopped in Pakistan as a way to bolster his image of a terrorism fighter (in order to get more votes from the people who pay attention to that).
c) Explain why a fence is important to stop the Mexicans from getting in our country.
d) Have sex with young boys in an airport bathroom.

If you picked D, you're wrong, but at least you have a good sense of humor. If you picked B, you're still wrong! Well, I'm sure one of them did, but that's not the subject of this post. If you picked C, you're right! Yes, Governor Mike Huckabee decided to compare the murder of a top political figure in Pakistan to the need for a border fence to keep the Mexicans out.

Congratulations Mike Huckabee! You are officially the Librocrat.com Douchebag of the week!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Have a Good Holiday

I will be enjoying Chinese food, watching movies, and possibly sneaking onto the Golf Course. Hooray for December 25th!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Ugh.

"I ain't never ran from a Neocon and I damn sure ain't 'bout to pick today to start running."
- Lil' Wayne and Playaz Circle, with edits.


What?

WASHINGTON — A federal judge on Friday declined to rule immediately on a request to compel the government to explain in detail the destruction of C.I.A. videotapes showing the harsh interrogation of two suspected Al Qaeda operatives.

District Judge Henry H. Kennedy said he would rule later on a request by lawyers for a dozen Yemeni prisoners being held at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, that he order such a hearing.

But Judge Kennedy, who heard a motion from the prisoners’ lawyers, appeared at one point to be at least partly swayed by Bush administration lawyers that he should not get more deeply involved while Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey is undertaking one of the inquiries into the tapes’ destruction.

“Why should the court not permit the Department of Justice to do just that?” Judge Kennedy asked David H. Remes, a lawyer for the detainees.


Ooh, I know! I know! Because he works for the people that destroyed the tapes, right? You were looking for an answer weren't you? I know you must have been since you're not stupid enough to actually believe that the DOJ is going to look into this objectively, right? RIGHT???

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Natasha Charles is My Hero

Outside of Madison Square Garden in New York, hundreds of angry Knicks fans are protesting against Knicks' coach Isaiah Thomas, signing petitions to get him fired. The New York Times has the whole article, if you care. Regardless, this was by far my favorite couple of paragraphs I've read in an article in a while:

Some people walking by stopped for a few moments to listen out of curiosity but not everyone was supportive. Natasha Charles, who said she was headed to work at New York Lawyers for Public Interest, stopped to debate a few demonstrators.

"Seriously, of all the things you could protest, I can’t believe this,” she said. ”Compared to the jerk we have in the White House, this is minutia. George Bush is the one we should be protesting. This is ridiculous. This is embarrassing.”


In other news, upset about affirmative action, Republicans have begun protesting chocolate milk.

Lucifer's Wrath Lights White House on Fire


Dick Cheney's Suite in the White House burst into flames today, in what has to be the most hilarious and ironic "disaster" to happen in the Washington since Mark Foley. Reports are unsure what started the blade, but sources say it's not uncommon for smoke and flames to engulf small areas whenever Cheney enters a room. Luckily no souls escaped in the blast. The world can't stand another Elizabeth Dole.

Full Story here.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Shock and Awe

"Why is it that people are constantly taking a shit and no one gives a shit?"
- Librocrat 5:13


This should come as a surprise to... someone. Ex Democratic Vice-Presidential Candidate Joseph Lieberman decides to endorse Ex-Important Republican Lawmaker John McCain as the next President of the United States. Proving, yet again, that there is no Jewish person in Washington that accurately reflects the feelings and opinions of the Jewish people.

Hit the road, Joe. Take Jesus with you.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

I have a cold.

So read this instead:

Mitt Romney did not have lawn relations with that immigrant.

Also, from the Satirical Political Report, this line made me laugh:

"Mitchell Report Concludes Bush Should Have Used Performance Enhancing Drugs."

Ha.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

PoliSat - In Speech on Religion, Obama Explains His Faith in Oprah

From the Borowitz Report:

In Speech on Religion, Obama Explains His Faith in Oprah
Calls Belief in Talk Show Hostess a “Personal Matter’

Under pressure to explain his religious faith to the American people, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama delivered a forty-five minute speech today discussing his belief in Oprah Winfrey.

In an election year that has been dominated by discussions of candidates’ religious faith, perhaps no candidate’s religion has been more controversial than Sen. Obama’s Oprahism.

Speaking to supporters at the University of Iowa, the Illinois senator devoted his entire speech to his religious faith but mentioned Ms. Winfrey only once by name.

“My religion is a personal matter to me,” Sen. Obama told his followers. “Having said that, let me make this clear: I have accepted Oprah as my host.”

Later in the day, Ms. Winfrey toured the state with Mr. Obama and, in a stunning demonstration of her influence, briefly caused a solar eclipse.

“Sun and moon, do my bidding!” she roared, raising her hands above her head and delighting the crowd with the celestial display.

“Oprah is without question the most powerful force in the election right now,” said Carol Foyler, 45, an Obama supporter from Cedar Rapids. “I’d like to see Bill Clinton do that.”

Davis Logsdon, who studies the interrelation between politicians, religion and talk-show hosts at the University of Minnesota, said that Sen. Obama’s worship of Oprah Winfrey puts him in the mainstream of American theological belief.

“Over thirty percent of Americans currently define themselves as Oprahists,” Mr. Logsdon said. “And that number is higher during sweeps.”

Elsewhere, the CIA created more controversy today by acknowledging that it accidentally returned several interrogation tapes to Blockbuster.


Even worse, the CIA forgot to rewind the tapes.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

FYI - Stop War in Thai


In case you wanted to know how to say "Stop War" in another language.

Updating the links on this blog

It looks like some of the bloggers on my liberal link list have stopped blogging. The internet misses you.

So I will be updating my links tonight and tomorrow. Want your blog on here? Link to it in a comment.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Bad News for Mike Huckabee

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) -- Mike Huckabee once advocated isolating AIDS patients from the general public, opposed increased federal funding in the search for a cure and said homosexuality could ''pose a dangerous public health risk.''

As a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat in 1992, Huckabee answered 229 questions submitted to him by The Associated Press. Besides a quarantine, Huckabee suggested that Hollywood celebrities fund AIDS research from their own pockets, rather than federal health agencies.

No commentary necessary. Full story here.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Iran


If any of you watch Live with Dan Abrams on MSNBC, you have to give the man credit. He does not give up on his questions. And unlike Chris Matthews, he also does not interrupt and talk over the answers of the panelists. Using this style, he can try to get his guests to answer the question he asks (rather than skirting around it, as most try to do) but still gives them a chance to answer, before calling them on their BS and asking them the question again.

So it was amusing yesterday to watch him grill a Republican Strategist (talk shows still don't pick their guests well) over Iran and watch as the Strategist failed miserably to answer the question. He didn't stutter, he didn't falter in his words. No, he just spewed propaganda like bomb in a honey bucket. Even Pat Buchanan thought everything the strategist said was crap.

Here is the better part of the transcript (emphasis mine):


DAN ABRAMS: All right. Jack, now look, don‘t - I don‘t want to change the question here. The question is not - is Iran dangerous or could Iran be dangerous, OK? Because everyone, I think, on this panel will concede that Iran could be dangerous. That‘s not the question. The question is - has the administration misled us in the last few months about Iran‘s nuclear capability?

JACK BURKMAN, REPUBLICAN STRATEGIST: No, I think not in any way. I think this, if anything, makes the president‘s case stronger. I think he was charitable today, Dan. There‘s a very fine line between an intention to have a program and having a program. These people have always intended to have a program. What you have today is clear and convincing evidence for the first time that these people have a program. You now have concrete evidence on the table. The difference is, and I think this will appeal to you, you were making the analogy to a courtroom in your opening piece. You can‘t make that analogy because the stakes here are higher. If we‘re wrong, you could have hundreds of thousands of people killed. What you have to understand is this at the end of the day is not North Korea because North Korea at the end of the day is China‘s problem, it‘s Russia‘s problem, it can be contained.

ABRAMS: Yes, but don‘t change the subject. I‘m not going to let you change the subject. That‘s what all the Bush team is trying to do. They‘re trying to change the subject away from whether there‘s been dishonesty. And Rachel, I saw shaking your head. It is infuriating, I agree with you because I see you getting the notion that somehow this report proves they‘ve been right all along. I mean, the 2005 report suggested that Iran had a nuclear program. So, this is not the first time we‘re hearing about the possibility. And the fact that they halted it in 2003, has to make us ask questions about what we were being told in 2007?

RACHEL MADDOW, AIR AMERICA: The only way you can understand this as a validation of what the White House has been saying is if you completely deny everything the White House has been saying. What they‘ve been saying is that Iran has a nuclear weapons program and that they aggressively want a nuclear weapon. But National Intelligence Estimate rejects this and I quote, “With high confidence.” So, I don‘t know how that means that proves the opposite of that is true.

(CROSSTALK)

BURKMAN: If I may Dan. The issue - the White House did not that say that. I think Rachel mischaracterized what they‘re saying. What they‘re saying is they are developing and working toward. That‘s what Dana Perino said, that‘s what Stephen Hadley had said.

MADDOW: But no, that‘s not what they said. They don‘t want nuclear weapons.

(CROSSTALK)

ABRAMS: That‘s a dishonest representation of what I said. Go ahead,

Pat. I want you to -

PAT BUCHANAN, MSNBC CORRESPONDENT: Look, how can you credibly say Iran is driving toward nuclear weapons when they voluntarily shut down their nuclear weapons program four years ago? That tells me they‘re thinking over whether they really want to have them. If they shut down their secret program, it means they‘re not driving toward nuclear weapons. And it means they may be enriching uranium for the reason that they‘ve got a right to do that under the treaty that they signed.

ABRAMS: And Jack, let me ask you this one, how do you spin Samuel Bodman, the Energy secretary‘s comment on November 13th - “We are convinced that they are developing nuclear weapons.” What‘s ambiguous about that? BURKMAN: I don‘t think you have to spin it because I think if you have in the recent past, and three or four years ago is certainly the recent past, somebody clearly working toward a program, you have evidence of that.

ABRAMS: This is - as you‘re saying - again, we‘re now learning that this administration knew—I‘m concerned about the dishonesty here because I think Iran is a threat, I really do. But I‘m concerned about being dishonest. I want the truth from my government. I don‘t want people spinning things. And that‘s what I feel like has been happening even though they knew it. And let me let Pat take us inside.

BUCHANAN: I think it‘s worse than that in this sense. Look, we were driving straight toward an attack on Iran. The president and vice president and the neoconservatives were painting us into a corner where we had no choice but to destroy these nuclear facilities. And if they knew they had shut down a program and they knew that the intelligence is saying, look, we may think the Iranians backed off from this four years ago, they were stampeding us toward war, the same way it was done in 2003.

ABRAMS: Go ahead, jack.

BURKMAN: You see, Dan, the margin for error is zero. This is a guy who‘s committed to the destruction of Israel. The president of Iran is committed to the destruction of Israel quote on his words, “I want to wipe Israel off the map.

(CROSSTALK)

ABRAMS: But you‘re changing the subject again, Jack. The subject is not is - look, we can talk about whether Iran is a threat. Iran is a possible threat, alright? No question about it. The question is whether we have been lied to as of late. Let me play you two pieces of sound, Jack. I want to ask you if this make you nervous? This is comparing the president talking about Iraq in 2005 and talking about Iran now.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BUSH: Iran was dangerous. Iran is dangerous and Iran will be dangerous if they have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.

We did find out that he had the intent and the capability of making weapons, which in my judgment still made him a dangerous man and the world understood how dangerous Saddam Hussein was.

We talked about Iran and the desire to work jointly to convince the Iranian regime to give up their nuclear weapons - (Librocrat's note: This clip was played by accident - it was supposed to end after the Saddam Hussein statement, but the clip guy played it too long. In the end, I wish it was played)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

ABRAMS: I didn‘t need the last piece of sound there, Jack. You listen to the talk about the dangerous man—it‘s a little bit frightening and it goes to Pat‘s point about being on this sort of road to war.

BURKMAN: Let me respond specifically to your legal question. I think it is an appropriate question. I don‘t see, Dan, a material distinction between an intention to develop a nuclear program and actually developing a program when, when that party has already engaged in moving toward developing a program.

ABRAMS: No, that ignores the significance, Rachel, of this new report.

MADDOW: Yes, you cannot make a case to the American people that we ought to invade a country because there‘s a bad man there or somebody who once had a nuclear thought. The case they were making to us about attacking Iran was that Iran posed an imminent danger because of this nuclear weapons program that we now know doesn‘t exist. The evidence is bunk.

ABRAMS: Right. Pat, final word, I‘ve got to wrap it up.

BUCHANAN: We‘re headed for war because we could not take the risk and there was, as far as we know now, no risk there.

ABRAMS: And we were and I am concerned about the credibility factor.
I don‘t want that to be lost on this. Don‘t let them change the subject.
They‘ve got to answer the question, have they been telling us the truth?


I want to repeat what was bolded. This idiot thinks that having once started making nuclear weapons is EXACTLY THE SAME THING as building them. So when various members of government say that "we are telling them to stop their nuclear weapons research," even though they're not researching it, that's okay because they once did. It's not a lie, because they stopped only 4 years ago. Thus it is okay that we say they are currently doing it.

So in honor of that: We here on this website are begging George Bush to stop snorting cocaine. We are also asking - NAY, TELLING - Saddam Hussein that he needs to stop what he's doing to the Iraqi's. I know he's dead now, but because he was doing terrible things recently, it's okay that I imply he's still doing them. In fact, once we found out that 3 or 4 years ago he was doing terrible things to Iraqis, it only VALIDATES my statement that he is doing it right now as we speak.

Monday, December 3, 2007

News of the Day

All the men Paris Hilton has slept with over the past few years have come forward... oh, I'm sorry, those aren't the men that Paris has slept with, those are all the men that have slept with Larry "Wide Stance" Craig. That slut.

Also, Iran stopped making Nuclear arms in 2003. So says the U.S. intelligence team (appointed by the Bush government) set to investigate Iran's weapons manufacturing. This goes against everything that Bush has told us for 4 years. WHOOPS! But hey, you know, at least Bush was able to halt the Iran weapon's program. Granted he halted it the year before he claimed it was a problem, but no one said Bush wasn't anachronistic. In fact, right now he has the same brain he had when he was an infant. Weird.

Finally, according to this headline, "Bush and Democrats Renew War of Words." Bush said in a statement: "We're fighting the words there, so we don't have to use them correctly here."

Bush's Iraq Message

Friday, November 30, 2007

The Return of Anti-Republican Presidential Poetry - Mike Huckabee

It's been a while, but with the races heating up, the anti-Republican presidential candidate poetry is back! This time we will be doing Mike Huckabee. Click here to see other candidates and PLEASE feel free and submit your own.

The first type of poetry we will use is called a "Tyburn" - It is a 6 line poem that uses 2, 2, 2, 2, 9, 9, syllables, where: "The first four lines rhyme and are all descriptive words. The last two lines rhyme and incorporate the first, second, third, and fourth lines as the 5th through 8th syllables." (www.shadowpoetry.com)

Here goes:

Inane
Campaign
Mundane
In Vain
Stuck on an inane campaign trail
Will become a mundane "in vain" tale


The second type of poetry for Mike Huckabee is called "Minute Poetry." Also from Shadowpoetry.com: "The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff"

NeoCons don't care about poor
They slam the door
They shut their blinds
They close their minds.

Huckabee thinks that they will change
And that is strange
They are brainwashed
Their thoughts are squashed

The Baptist has no chance in hell
So wish him well
Because he'll lose
To dumb-ass views.

There we go. Remember to click on the link on the top of the page to see any other anti-Republican poetry and to submit your own.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Is It a Dating Show or is it the Return of "The Weakest Link"?

If this does not make you laugh, please smoke Marijuana more often:

Mary Delgado, a former Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleader who was proposed to on the reality-TV show "The Bachelor" in season six, has been accused of punching the man who picked her, Byron Velvick, in the mouth, authorities said. Delgado was taken into custody in Seminole, Fla., about 10 miles northwest of St. Petersburg, early Wednesday. She was under the influence of alcohol when she was arrested on a battery charge, according to a police affidavit. She and Velvick appeared together Tuesday in a special episode of "The Bachelor" called "After the Final Rose."


Don't mess with those Cheerleaders, I'm telling you. Check out those biceps. That dude never stood a chance. Right after this she whispered in his ear "I'm gonna cut you, bitch."

More

Monday, November 26, 2007

Made up statistics question

Why are 95% of the people that comment on YouTube videos complete idiots? I'm not even going to get into the percentage of racists...

Cheney Has Irregular Heartbeat

Vice President Dick Cheney, was found to have an irregular heartbeat:


WASHINGTON (AP) -- Vice President Dick Cheney, who has a history of heart problems, experienced an irregular heartbeat Monday and was taken to George Washington University Hospital for evaluation.

The condition was detected when Cheney was seen by doctors around 7 a.m. at the White House for a lingering cough from a cold. He remained at work throughout the day, joining President Bush in meetings with Mideast leaders.


Irregular, of course, because it's not there.

Brownie points, by the way, if you can tell me why I posted that image.

More Anti-Bush Graffiti

I found a website, the Stop Bush Project, that documents anti-bush graffiti. I'll share more of those with you soon. Here are some for now:



The second one may not be graffiti, but it was clever.

Trent Lott Resigning

You can read the full article here, but I want to point you to this paragraph:

By resigning before the end of the year, Mr. Lott would beat the effective date for new ethics rules that double to two years the amount of time a former public official must wait before he can join a firm to lobby his former colleagues. The new rule applies to those who leave office “on or after” Dec. 31.

I will give you three guesses what he is going to do now that he's decided he's done.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Too Much Mario

Maybe this would be less funny if the new Wii Mario game wasn't so good:

Found this in the uncyclopedia.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I'm thinking about moving to Canada

I just watched SiCKO. You should too.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Saving Baseball in Seattle


On June 22nd, 2007, Ken Griffey Jr. returned to Seattle for the first time since 1999. I was at that game. I arrived 2½ hours early and stood in right field waiting for Griffey to take batting practice. He wasn’t up right away, and as I waited in that corner, fans started pouring into the seats with the same thought in mind “If I can catch one of these batting practice home runs, I will die happy.” When it was finally Griffey’s turn, the small group of twenty-somethings that had filled the seats was already cheering louder than the majority of games when the stadium was full. We held up signs that had been given to us before the game, and at least half of the crowd sported an early 90’s Mariner jersey with the number 24 sewn onto the back. A few fly balls went our way, and even when the ball was more than fifty feet away, you could see yourself catching it, rushing it home, telling all your friends and displaying it on your fireplace, eventually handing it off to your grandkids.

After batting practice was over, it was time for the Ken Griffey Jr. tribute ceremony. The seats were already packed to the brim, and everyone was on their feet, giving a standing ovation to the Diamond Vision monitor as it began its long tribute video. Seattle Mariner icons like Dave Niehaus, Alvin Davis and Jay Buhner were quoted on the screen, each receiving cheers of their own from the anxious crowd. Finally a clip video set to Aerosmith’s “Dream On” played a montage of Griffey’s moments in Seattle:

- The homerun in the 8th consecutive game
- The catch against the wall that broke Griffey’s hand
- Hat backwards
- Junior and Senior
- The All Star Game homerun in Baltimore that was belted into space
- The 100th, 200th, 300th and 398th homeruns of his career (as well as several in between)
- The home run robbing catch in 1990 and his smile of pure joy as he himself realized he brought it back.
- The game winning home run in 1995, the first home run since coming off the DL and the beginning of the most improbable comeback in MLB history.
- “They’re gonna wave him in! They throw to the plate will be….. LATE! The Mariners are going to play for the American league championship!”

Everyone in the audience must have seen that final clip a hundred times in the 12 years since Griffey was seen on the bottom of that pile. But, if you looked around any section in the stadium at that moment you would have seen at least twenty grown men tearing up, as though all the happiness of their childhood finally came back to them in one fleeting instant.

The game itself was forgettable. At least it hopefully will be someday, as the Mariners ended up losing by 15 in what could arguably be the most disgraceful defeat of the 2007 season. But once the game was over, every individual that attended couldn’t help but feel somehow complete, as though by bringing back Griffey it reminded all of us why we cared about the Mariners and why we care about baseball. With no disrespect intended towards Jay Buhner, Randy Johnson or Edgar Martinez, it was Griffey that gave us baseball and showed us why we love the sport.

There are critics who argue that Griffey did not save baseball in Seattle – and these critics are met with the collective stares of the Griffey generation, their mouths agape, unable to comprehend the very idea let alone form a cohesive argument against it. “It wasn’t Griffey, it was Edgar and Buhner and A-rod” they say, or “Read ‘Out of Left Field’ by Art Thiel” the critics cite, “the Seattle fanbase didn’t even play that great a role in keeping the Mariners in Seattle.”

But therein lies the disconnect between those two viewpoints. Critics argue that he did not save the Mariners. But what they do not realize is it was not the Mariners that needed saving. It was baseball. Baseball in Seattle had become irrelevant. The Seattle Mariners were not a baseball team, they were a citywide joke - a benign cancer that people knew was there but generally ignored because it barely affected their daily life. Sure, some parents still tried to teach their children to throw and catch, but why? Why would the youth waste their time on a sport whose home team in 1988 was approximately thirty-six games out of first place, and whose sole all star game representation the previous two years was Harold Reynolds whose offensive production numbers placed him pitifully in the bottom 50% of all active hitters. In fact, in 1987, his “All Star caliber numbers” had him hitting slightly worse than Nick Punto hit in 2006, which put him far below average but just a hair above absolutely terrible. How could the team playing in a stadium that was basically a giant concrete breast implant possibly teach thousands of young kids why they should care about baseball?

It couldn’t. And it didn’t. The kids born in and around the early 80’s were completely disinterested. Even the adults had grown apathetic. People watched baseball, but they were not fans of baseball. It was a sport like any other, and had football been on TV five times a week, there is no doubt it would have been watched instead. Baseball was like a cheesy sitcom – you’d watch it when nothing else was on, and enjoy it for the same reason.

That’s when Griffey came.

At 19 years old, Ken Griffey Jr. was anything but intimidating. His smile could be described as “goofy” at best (although the infamous ear to ear smile is one of everyone’s fondest Griffey memories), his hair was like that of a little boy’s that hates shampoo, and his stature was closer to brittle than it was to brawny. While his father may have been a member of “The Big Red Machine,” his son looked more like “The little engine that could.”

But from the moment he hit a double in his first at-bat, and a homerun off his first pitch at the Kingdome, you could tell the Kid was something special. It wasn’t his numbers that were particularly impressive, nor was it his “potential.” It was the pinnacle of baseball that you could see in everything he did – the purity and perfection of his game. Babe Ruth may have been one of the greatest players of all time, but Ruth was a big man; a big man who swung hard and hit well. With Griffey it was different. Griffey was the essence of baseball. He was pure skill incarnate. Watching him hit was like visual poetry. And the ease with which he used his glove was nothing short of extraordinary. Willie Mays became well known for “The Catch.” Griffey made that same catch almost weekly. He performed acrobatic feats that would make Olympians jealous, and his glove caught more hard hit balls than an overworked urologist.

And then there was his swing. Never in the history of athletics has something so perfect been repeated so consistently. Baseball was invented for Junior’s swing, and we were lucky enough to bare witness. Before the bat left his shoulder, you could see it seething. It hungered for the pitch, swaying in anticipation, growing more and more impatient as the pitcher hesitated in his wind up. If you watched each pitch carefully, you could see the ball attempt to hang on to the pitcher’s fingers, reaching backwards to no avail, trying to hang on rather than meet its fate. And Griffey embarrassed the ball. Humiliated it. It wasn’t an at-bat, it was an execution. The ball was a target and Griffey was the sniper.

As the bat cut through the air it was like the world stopped. Fans were on their feet before the bat hit the ball, because when you watched Griffey swing – you knew. And so did Griffey, as he would drop his bat effortlessly behind him and begin his confident trot around the bases before the pitcher had time to turn around. Every homerun that Griffey hit was a moment I never wanted back.

Griffey was baseball. He was more than just a Seattle athlete, he was THE athlete. He brought baseball into the lives of not only the younger generation but generations since, as those that he touched are starting to have kids of their own and are teaching their kids the game of baseball that they came to know. No one, not Edgar, not Jay, not Alvin Davis, not Barry Bonds – not even Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle or Joe DiMaggio could ever have had the affect on baseball that Griffey had in Seattle. He single handedly changed the meaning of “Goodbye Baseball” into something wonderful. He saved baseball for a generation that almost grew up without it.

In January of 1988, Ken Griffey Jr., then only 18 years old, attempted suicide by swallowing over 200 aspirins. He was rushed to the hospital, had his stomach pumped, and survived. I can tell you without pause that I would not be anyone if he had succeeded. Without Griffey, I would not be interested in baseball. Without baseball, I would not have been interested in sports, and without sports, I would be nowhere.

Finally, someone said about the game this past year “Griffey is the kind of person that you can put into a crowded stadium with 40,000 people cheering for him and only one person booing, and he will hear the boo. At that game, no one booed.” No one. And I can honestly say that I would sacrifice 2 or 3 years of playoff appearances if it meant I could watch Griffey play in a Mariner uniform again, because it is thanks to him that I will be able to enjoy baseball long after he’s gone.

So here’s to you on your 38th birthday, Griffey. I hope you have several more years of health and happiness, and I will continue to check the Cincinnati box scores until the day you retire. You may not have saved the Mariners, but you still saved baseball for me.

The Democrats finally do something right

It's not much, but I appreciate them for this:

22-second Senate session guards against Bush appointments

By JIM ABRAMS

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON — Gavel to gavel, the Senate on Tuesday met for just 22 seconds — a fleeting moment in the life of a sometimes droning body, but long enough to keep President Bush from making "recess" appointments that Democrats might not like.

Senators have been taking turns standing sentry duty this week — just to prevent Bush from circumventing the confirmation process by immediately installing people in federal posts while the chamber is in recess. Sen. Jim Webb, D-Va., who carried out that less than glamorous task Tuesday, is a relative newcomer, a low-ranking freshman and a senator who lives just minutes from the Capitol; he wielded his gavel before an empty chamber Tuesday, devoid of senators and even the young pages who serve as messengers.

"I'd much rather be doing this than allow the president to skirt the confirmation process in the Senate," Webb said in a statement. "This is an exercise in protecting the Constitution and our constitutional process."

The Senate must confirm major presidential appointments and judicial nominations, providing a constant source of confrontation between the White House and Senate Democrats. But when the Senate is off, as it is now for the Thanksgiving holiday, the president can make recess appointments that are not subject to confirmation hearings. These appointees can serve until the end of the congressional session, which at this point would be until Bush leaves office.

Among the more controversial recess appointments Bush has made have included John Bolton to be ambassador to the United Nations and Sam Fox, a GOP fundraiser and contributor to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth during the 2004 presidential campaign, as ambassador to Belgium.

Showing the level of distrust between the White House and the Democrats, Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., announced that he would employ, apparently for the first time, what are called "pro forma" sessions as a tactic to technically keep the Senate on the job and stop recess appointments.

A pro forma session, during which no legislative business is conducted, satisfies the constitutional obligation that neither chamber can adjourn for more than three days without the consent of the other.

These pro forma sessions will continue throughout the current holiday recess.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Graffiti pt. 3

Graffiti pt. 2

Bush Graffiti

I have some side projects that I need to work on for a little while, so in the absence of substantive posting I bring you a weeks worth of anti-bush and anti-war graffiti I found on Flickr. Enjoy.

Friday, November 16, 2007

This Is Why I Hate The President

While this topic deserve more than a thousand words, this photo will have to suffice.

Yep. This is our president hesitating to shake the hand of a soldier who was badly injured in Iraq. Way to go, Bush.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Barry Bonds Indicted for Perjury and Obstruction of Justice


Barry Bonds has just been indicted for his lying under oath about his steroid allegations with BALCO.

You can find the full article here.

I will, however, share with you this one gem from the article in case they change it [emphasis mine]:

Bonds' physical growth was accompanied by a remarkable power surge. During the 2001 season he broke Mark McGwire's single-season home run crown, and by 2006, he'd passed Babe Ruth to move into second-place among the sport's most prolific power hitters. He will soon in all likelihood surpass Aaron's career mark of 755 homers.


Um...yes. I'd say there is a very high likelihood of that happening. 100% even.

Rebellious Bird

Thought this was funny. Found it on Bits and Pieces:

That's right, bird. Fight the power.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

McCain Calls Clinton a "Bitch"...

...Indirectly, by allowing a stupid question by a Republican supporter and then referring to Hillary Clinton by name.

Grow some balls old man. If someone calls one of your opponents a "bitch" you stand up for her even if you are trying to beat her. And Republicans: Get smarter, because at this point it's difficult for me to think less of you.

"Excuse me, excuse me, Mr. McCain? Quick follow up to the 'bitch' question posed by my distinguished colleague. If Barack Obama ends up with the nomination, how do we beat the n--?"
- Realistic hypothetical Republican.

Interesting Factoid

It's been 641 days since Vice President Dick Cheney shot his best friend in the face.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Tom Tancredo: Terrorism Stopper


Great retard? Or Greatest retard?

Thank you, Tom. Thank you for informing me that without your helpful hand, I may die. I'm glad I know that now so that when you don't get elected, I can fill out my will.

You make the entire Republican party look like a bunch of raving lunatics, and I can honestly say: Keep up the good work.

(I was thinking of naming this post Tom the Terrorism Hunter and doing a little Cartman jingle like "I am the Tom, the Big Bad Tom of the Terrorists." But I didn't. Thank me later)

Saturday, November 10, 2007

News Corp attacked in Georgia

The country, not the state. Sadly, the state likes Murdoch way too much.

The country of Georgia (more specifically the government) was displeased with News Corp's recently purchased TV station, Imedi, was raided by Georgia's special forces, destroying their equipment and leaving "very extensive damage."


MOSCOW, Nov 9 (Reuters) - Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. described as "totally outrageous" on Friday the storming of its Georgian television station Imedi by armed police, saying they caused "very extensive" damage.

Georgian special forces charged the station on Wednesday night, forcing staff to the floor and holding guns to their heads before smashing equipment and blacking out the signal, witnesses said.

"Two hundred, I don't know what they were, special police, thugs, came into the station, did not serve any papers, did not say why they were there," News Corp. executive vice-president Martin Pompadur told Reuters in a telephone interview.

"I have no idea who gave them the authorisation, someone in the government I assume. And they destroyed the station, they destroyed the control room, they destroyed equipment, they obviously had been given instructions to do just that".

Imedi, which had broadcast extensive coverage of anti- government protests, remains off the air. Under President Mikhail Saakashvili's 15-day state of emergency, only government media are allowed to broadcast news and big meetings are banned.

Heh. I mean... aw... Maybe this is the beginning of Murdoch's Karma for what he did to Fox News and the Washington Post. At any rate, Murdoch is maaaaaaaaad. His channel will be likely out of commission until after the special election in Georgia (the history of which I know nothing about and don't care to look for information on - Something about a new government being created in Moscow). At any rate, the reality of the story is that News Corp MAY have been doing a good thing by relating the opinions of the opposition, but I can't feel bad about Murdoch's property getting trashed, no matter how unjust it is.

More on the story here, here, here, and here.

Friday, November 9, 2007

It's like the lamest party ever


Really? No Education is complete? Really? Better: No Education is Forgotten. ONCE in includes us.

Anyone have better captions for this?

Thanks to spiiderweb.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Public Service Announcement


Just so you know, Office Depot sells/gives out your work addresses to furniture and supply stores when you order something using their website, www.officedepot.com. It is in their privacy policy:

Additionally, we partner with trusted third parties to provide Site users with offers or services which may be of value to our users. In such instances, we may share, sell or rent a user's name, phone number, postal address and ordering information to such third parties to enable them to notify appropriate users of such offers or services. We will never provide credit card information and you will always be provided with the opportunity to unsubscribe from any such list.


Personally I think that's retarded that they can make money off of my address, and I encourage people to complain when they start receiving letters in the mail trying to sell them color copiers. If you want to make money off of my address, you should be paying me for it. It's not your address, so why should you make money selling my information.

Tim Eyman Initiative Ruled Unconstitutional

If you do not live in Washington State, you're probably not aware of who Tim Eyman is. But as an analogy: Tim Eyman is to Washington State as Tom Delay was to congress. He's Washington's own extremist political machine. For more information about the horrific initiatives he's tried to pass in the past, there is a history here:

http://www.permanentdefense.org/Info/DangerousInitiatives.html

Recently he tried to pass initiative 960, a bill designed to make it necessary to achieve 66% of the state government's vote in order to pass any tax increases.

Despite Seattle's liberal voting record, Washington State is generally split down the middle, and so it would be generally impossible to pass any tax increase at all - which could be dangerous to the state in times of emergency. Eyman's measure passed in this recent election, however, because if you do not pay attention to how the government works, it appears to make sense that 66% is necessary to pass new taxes. Except that is under the assumption that there is no party system and representatives are always voting in the best interests of their constituents, which is not the case. It is also completely undemocratic, and unfortunately, it may be a victory for Eyman.

That's why I'm pleased to announce that just two days after that measure was voted on, the Washington State Supreme Court ruled another one of his initiatives unconstitutional. Ha!

Said the judges:

"A voter reading the text of the initiative would have perceived a much smaller impact on government coffers than would actually occur under I-747," the justices ruled. "The text of the initiative misled voters about the substantive impact of the initiative on existing law."

Dear Tim Eyman,

Ha! Here's a hot dog. Go F*ck yourself.

Sincerely,

Everyone.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

What Would Jesus Do - The Thong


I know what Jesus would do. Jesus would hit that sh*t. He knows wassup. Word.

Er... "The Word." Right?

Good. I didn't really want you anyway

And we thought we had already elected an idiot.

Fred Thompson decides to tell a Fox News correspondent that, in essence, he doesn't expect to be president.

Trying to encourage his studio to hurry up so an interview could start, Carl Cameron of Fox News said into his microphone: "The next president of the United States has a schedule to keep." Standing beside him, a deadpan Mr Thompson interjected: "And so do I."

As some Thompson aides looked bemused and others cringed, a taken-aback Mr Cameron, Fox's chief political correspondent, exclaimed: "You can't do that kind of stuff!"


Can I get a round of applause?

I like how the Fox correspondent was genuinely upset, since his stupid channel decided to basically throw all of their support behind the actor/politician.

Full Story here.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Dog The Bounty Hunter Not Unlike Cartman From Southpark


Found this on Siditty (who has interesting things to say AND does not run a nerd blog - go figure):

Duane Dog Chapman, better known as "Dog The Bounty Hunter" is a flaming racist, and was caught on video yelling racial slurs at his son for dating a black woman.



Raise your hands if you're surprised a white trash murderer with 11 kids is a racist. Anyone? Anyone at all? No?

For the audio, go here. For the "apology" go here. For commentary, go here.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Adults Only - NSFW


What is this you ask? Why, it's a Bush shaped butt plug, of course!

Hilarity Ensues.

I'm hyperlinking to bloggers that I think would appreciate the humor in this.

Another one bites the dust

And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
- Queen


Yet another GOP lawmaker is gone amidst "revelations he had sex with a man he met at an erotic-video store while in Spokane on a GOP retreat." But was he in his wide stance with his hammer pants?

In a written statement, Rep. Richard Curtis, of La Center, Clark County, said that while he believes he's done a lot of good during his time in the Legislature, "events that have recently come to light have hurt a lot of people."

"I sincerely apologize for any pain my actions may have caused," he wrote. "This has been damaging to my family, and I don't want to subject them to any additional pain that might result from carrying out this matter under the scrutiny that comes with holding public office."



The other man came forward after Curtis failed to pay the 1,000 dollars he promised for the sex.

Elected to the state House of Representatives in 2004, he voted in 2005 and 2006 against a bill that granted civil-rights protections to gays and lesbians, and in 2007 voted against a bill that created domestic partnerships for same-sex couples.


Oh homophobic Republican lawmakers. Is there no man you won't sleep with and deny?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Non Story? Or Big Story?

Cheney went hunting and did not shoot his best friend in the face. But not to be completely lapped in hilarity, he did decide to go use a hunting grounds with a confederate flag hanging from the doorway.


UNION VALE, N.Y. (Oct. 30) -- Vice President Dick Cheney spent about eight hours hunting Monday at a secluded Hudson Valley gun club where well-heeled enthusiasts shoot ducks and pheasants.

It was Cheney's second visit to Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club in Dutchess County, about 70 miles north of New York City. The previous trip was in fall 2001.

Although a heavy police presence kept the media and curious local residents at a distance, Cheney's visit did stir up a bit of controversy when a New York Daily News photographer snapped a picture of a small Confederate flag hanging inside a garage on the hunt club property.

The photo was shown to New York City civil rights activist, the Rev. Al Sharpton, who issued a statement demanding that the vice president "leave immediately, denounce the club and apologize for going to a club that represents lynching, hate and murder to black people."


In general, I'd say this is a "meh" issue. It was a tiny flag, he could have easily not realized it was there, and there are reports that the door wasn't even open when Cheney entered the compounds. Regardless, however, in the wake of Kanye West's "George Bush doesn't care about black people," Katrina, and the recent overwhelming response to the San Diego fires and touting how FEMA is now reformed and working well, Cheney should still apologize to send the message that black relations are taken into account for small things as well as for big things. It's a small gesture that I believe he has to do.

But he won't, since he's probably asleep.

(photo from helpbuythebeer.org)

Monday, October 29, 2007

FEMA Spokesman Fired for Fake News Conference About Fires in California

This is a bit of a late post - but the story is that FEMA, in an effort to try to show they are doing better with the media (and their response to disasters), set up a fake news conference last week complete with fake reporters (FEMA employees posing as members of the press) and fake, easy, soft questions so that Harvey Johnson, the deputy administrator for FEMA could answer as many questions as possible by praising FEMA's response to the fires.

Not surprisingly, most of the press conference was shown on Fox News.

To read up on the whole back story, check out this article by Al Kamen of the Washington Post.

However, the White House actually did something right - at least semi-right. As of today, Pat Philbin, the FEMA external affairs director will not be promoted to director of public affairs as originally scheduled. However, it is the feeling of this website that anything short of being immediately fired is inadequate. Michael Chertoff himself said "I think it was one of the dumbest and most inappropriate things I've ever seen since I've been in government."

If Chertoff thinks that, you know it must have been Katrina.

Bad... I meant "Bad." You know it must have been bad. I don't know how I wrote Katrina.

Daily Observation

Often times you see on personal ads or on television someone describing themselves as a person who "likes to have a good time." People say "I like to go out and have a good time." Or "I like watching movies and having a good time."

Is there anyone that does not like to have a good time? Is there someone who is getting ready for a date and thinks to themselves "This better not be another god damn good time. I want a bad time, or I'm going to be really pissed off."

I want to read the personal ad that goes: "I like to stay inside and be absolutely miserable with someone, so that I retch in their company."

See? That's honesty. I would never talk to that person, ever, but at least you know they're honest.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Trinity Vs. Millsaps - October 27th, 2007



This has to be one of the greatest plays in all of football/sports history. 2 seconds left in the game, with Trinity losing and Trinity with the ball for the final play of the game. Lateral, Lateral, Lateral. That's all I'm saying.

Sorry this isn't about politics, but I had to share it.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Man Tosses Puppy From Balcony

He got what he deserved:

Man gets 3 years for tossing puppy from balcony

By The Associated Press

CHARLESTON, S.C. — An incredulous judge sentenced a man to three years in prison for tossing a 10-week-old puppy off an apartment balcony during an argument with his girlfriend.

The puppy was in a soft-sided container, suffered head injuries and had to be put to death.

Javon Patrick Morris, 22, apologized for throwing the puppy off the balcony last March and pleaded guilty to animal cruelty.

"You mean he threw a helpless animal off three floors because he was mad at someone?" Circuit Judge Edward Cottingham asked a prosecutor before sentencing Thursday.

The judge, who has owned nine dogs, said he was obligated to issue a tough sentence.

"There is nobody in this world that can understand that," Cottingham said.

He sentenced Morris to five years, suspended to three years in prison and two years of probation. He also ordered Morris, who will be eligible for parole in 20 months, to get anger management counseling.

"I've got to send a message to all dog lovers that we are going to protect that interest in our courtrooms," Cottingham said.
The puppy (fake artist's approximation)

Easing Up on Gun Restrictions

New rule -

If the Republicans want to make battle weapons legal in the United States, then they should restrict those rights to this gun only:

That way, if they decide to go on a murderous rampage, they have to be okay with their gun making them look soft. And, since they're already okay with teaching their kids that guns are your friend, they may as well have a fun design so that the kids can play with them when they're away.

Maybe they can get a child size version of The Back Up and then they can give this gun to their baby girls. That would be super.

"Hello Kitty says 'Yippee Ki-yay mother fucker.'"

You've Got To Be F'n Kidding Me



This is the sickest crap ever. It's called "The Back Up" and supposedly it's a gun rack for your shotgun, as per the 2nd amendment, that rests next to your bed... in case the British attack in the night? All I see is some child shooting themself in the face when their parents slept through their alarms and are running late for church. What a stupid piece of crap this is.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Monday, October 22, 2007

Conservatives and Liberals have Different Brains

Sorry for the light posting, I'm working on a few side projects unrelated to the awesomeness that is this blog (Oh yes, I said it).

I've been meaning to write about this for a while. A study by researches and NYU and UCLA, reported in the journal of natural sciences and written about in the Seattle Times, says that a certain part of the brain related to decision making, flexible thinking and problem solving strategies reacted differently between liberals and conservatives. "The brain region in question helps people shift gears when their usual response would be inappropriate, supporting the notion that liberals are more flexible in their thinking."

Participants were college students whose politics ranged from "very liberal" to "very conservative." Scientists instructed them to tap a keyboard when an M appeared on a computer monitor and to refrain from tapping when they saw a W.

M appeared four times more frequently than W, conditioning participants to press a key in knee-jerk fashion whenever they saw a letter.

Each participant was wired to an electroencephalograph that recorded activity in their anterior cingulate cortex, the part of the brain that detects conflicts between a habitual tendency (pressing a key) and a more appropriate response (not pressing the key). Liberals had more brain activity and made fewer mistakes than conservatives when they saw a W, researchers said. Liberals and conservatives were equally accurate in recognizing M.

Researchers obtained the same results when they repeated the experiment in reverse, asking another set of participants to tap when they saw W.

The results of the study were not meant to apply to the correctness of either strategy or to indicate the correctness of either political belief (there is no "ideal" brain functioning strategy, so that it is not better to be conservative or liberal when it comes to flexible decision making or vice versa).

Analyzing the data, Sulloway said liberals were 4.9 times more likely than conservatives to show activity in the brain circuits that deal with conflicts and were 2.2 times more likely to score in the top half of the distribution for accuracy.


Read the whole article here.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Maureen Dowd's Best Article Yet?

From the New York Times:

A Mock Columnist, Amok
by Maureen Dowd

I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.

He was sneering that Times columns make good “kindling.” He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, “it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.” He was observing, approvingly, that “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”

I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to “shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.”

I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!)


By STEPHEN COLBERT

Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(

I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:

Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.

There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.

So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.

For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.

Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.

And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.

Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.

While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where’s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)

Others point to my new bestseller, “I Am America (And So Can You!)” noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.

Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.” On the elderly: “They look like lizards.”

Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.

What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Today's Humbling Moment

Here's a question: Without looking it up in google, what color is Chartreuse?

I know the answer, so I don't need it from you. I am only asking what people think it is when they hear the color, because as far as I can tell, most people think it is a different color than it actually is.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

See, Idaho... This is why no one likes you.

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- Sen. Larry Craig was named Saturday night to the Idaho Hall of Fame, marking the Republican lawmaker's first ceremonial appearance back in his home state since his arrest in an airport bathroom sex sting became public in August.


WHY?

Friday, October 12, 2007

Search terms to hit my site

Since no one reads this blog regularly anymore, almost all of my hits come from searches. In the past two months, here are some of the interesting ones:

- intelligent penis
- wrinkled penis
-"why size does matter" +penis
- blogspot jockstrap
- bill gates is a stupid asshole
- build your own kerosene refrigerator
- can you tell someone anonymously that you have an std
- erotic pictures of speaker nancy pelosi
- fat jock strap
- fuck you you stupid asshole
- gay porn obituaries
- get dick sleep
- how do i know if my bearded dragonj is giving birth
- how to money off of paper ninja stars if your a kid
- japanese ewes bushes
- lesbian sex video evacuate
- miniature poodles in bangalore
- mitt romney is a douchebag
- pix of stoned ladies in iran
- smurf amniocentesis
- why is my penis wrinkled?

What have we learned? We've learned that for some reason, I rank really high up in searches that mention the word "penis." We've also learned that google allows you to search for damn near anything.

We have also learned that by posting this, I'm sure to get searches that are just as bad. Luckily they'll get to this page and turn back.

Al Gore for President? Why?


NUMEROUS articles have been written in the last couple of days about whether or not Al Gore will and should run for president (a quick search on Google news turns up this, this, and this). In many ways, it sounds like a good idea. Al Gore has scored plenty of brownie points with not only this country but the entire world with his push toward environmental reform. He has won an emmy, he has won the nobel peace prize... At this point in his life, he is one of the most popular current or ex politicians in the world. It is understandable that people are asking if he'll run, and many are pushing for him to enter to presidential race.

But few people have asked the most important question of all: Why?

No, not "why would we want him to run?" I know the answer to that, because I'd prefer him as president to, and would consider voting for him over all the candidates in the field. No, the real questions are "Why would he run?" and "Why should he run?"

Why would he run? This is a question that sounds like it has an easy answer: Because, as president, he can do more to help the environment.

Really? Pause for a second. Do you real think that? Do you think the president can honestly do much of anything? And what about if there is a Republican majority again? Do you think he'll be able to get anything done at all?

Becoming president could easily be one of the worst things he can do for his message. Yes, he has an opportunity to be a very prominent voice in the most powerful position in the world. But I would argue he easily has that now, and without as television ad attacks.

Why should he run? This is similar to the answer of the former question. He should run if, and only if, he can do more of a significant amount of good as president than he can as a civilian - and while I'm sure many people are looking at our current president and laughing, we are talking about how much more good he can do as president than another good Democratic candidate who isn't running on that issue. All of the current candidates believe in global warming and will do something to reverse it, and while they are not as prominent in the field as Gore is, they can probably get the same amount done if for no other reason than Republicans in Congress are going to get in their way as well.

Similarly he'd be bound to many more laws and customs that would prevent him from influencing the mass public, if for no other reason that he'd become his own polarized political figure.

But this doesn't mean he should be out of politics completely. The press and the blogosphere act as though the only option for him is either to run for president or not to. I've given my reasons why I don't believe becoming president is a huge step up for his cause, but that doesn't mean I think he should not be in politics at all. What about head of the EPA? What about United Nations rep? These are two (of probably several) high ranking positions in government that he could use to oversee his important agenda while still keeping out of the political abyss that is the presidency and congress. He can use his influence behind the scenes while still remaining a seemingly non-political figure on television or in print or whatever else he'd use to spread his message (can you name the head of the EPA off the top of you head right now? If you are reading this sentence and have not yet thought of it, don't worry, neither has anyone else).

It's a conversation that doesn't make sense to me. I want to see Al Gore elected president [again] as much as anyone, but unless someone can explain otherwise, I don't see why he would see the need, nor why that is his only political option to enact change.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Best. Photo. Ever.

This is Michelle Malkin in her cheerleader outfit, flying through the air from flames out of her rear. From Sadly No:

What a horrible woman.

The Hillary Clinton Nut Cracker

Got this in a forward:

It's kinda funny. It looks like you can buy it here.

Why Giuliani and Romney Make Couches Happy

Because they lie a lot. From the Caucus at the New York Times:

Truth squadding the most contentious point of the debate last night, Michael Cooper, the Times’s City Hall budget reporter during the end of the Giuliani administration, notes:

In defending his fiscal record, Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani said that during his tenure as mayor of New York City, spending declined. But he said that it declined on a “per capita” basis, meaning that the city’s population grew faster than its spending. But an analysis by the Citizens Budget Commission, an independent group, found that during his two terms, Mr. Giuliani increased city expenditures by 13.7 percent, when adjusted for inflation.

And Mr. Giuliani boasted, as he often does on the campaign trail, that he cut taxes 23 times as mayor. But fiscal monitors have noted that in doing so, Mr. Giuliani takes credit for some tax cuts that he did not initiate – including cuts made by the state.

And Michael Luo, the Times’s reporter covering Mitt Romney, notes that Mr. Romney’s claims are subject to debate, too.

Fiscal conservatives offer mixed reviews of Mr. Romney’s record as governor of Massachusetts. He contends that he kept a campaign promise not to raise taxes, even as he successfully closed a $3 billion budget gap.

But even though he did not make any broad-based tax increases, Mr. Romney increased fees by $500 million and closed corporate tax loopholes, which critics argue amounted to tax increases on corporations.

Mr. Romney also touts the fact that he sought to reduce the state’s income-tax rate from 5.3 percent to 5.0 percent, but he was stymied twice by the state legislature.


And, for those of you who are sports fans, here is why Mo Vaughn left the Angels (hint, it's 9/11).

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

"That's Not How Gay Works."


Now that Larry Craig is staying, it seemed like a good idea to bring back this brilliant clip from the Daily Show, entitled "Trapped in the closet." Jon Stewart is a genius.

Ronald Reagan was the devil

Ronald Wilson Reagan
6 6 6

This daily tidbit courtesy of The Boondocks.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Not winning their case

In response to the skyrocketing costs of the occupation of Iraq, and the requested $23 billion in additional domestic spending, Democratic representatives David Obey, John Murtha and and Jim McGovern have proposed an additional income tax increase because "it is unfair to pass the cost of the war onto future generations":

"The war will cost future generations billions of dollars in taxes that we're shoving off on them and it is devouring money that could be used to expand their educational opportunities, expand their job training possibilities, attack our long-term energy problems and build stronger communities," Obey said.

The proposed measure will increase taxes on the lower and middle class by 2%, and wealthier people by 12-15%.

Among the many problems with this idea, one of its most glaring flaws is its inability to deter Republican attacks. Immediately after the plan was announced, an RNC spokesman responded: "Americans will reject Democrat [sic] plans to take away their hard-earned dollars."

Unfortunately, that is probably the case. Obey believes that by adding this tax-surcharge, Americans will "stop ignoring what this war is costing American taxpayers and call the president's bluff on fiscal responsibility." But I believe this bill falls short of doing that, and instead appears only to help fund the occupation that is growing more and more unpopular even amongst Republicans.

This action is dependent on the idea that Americans will realize that Bush's spending is out of control. Unfortunately, this assumes that the small minority of Americans who still believe in this invasion will not attribute an increase in taxes to the party they already associate with tax increases.

Basically, it gives those individuals credit for being smarter and more in-tune politically than they probably are. DailyKos supports this bill, and for our sake I hope that if it passes it works as planned, but its goal seems lofty and unattainable, and I believe its message will get lost with its effects.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Post from DailyKos

I had to post this here. Sorry DKos, but this is too funny. This is the new logo for the GOP 2008 Convention:


And yes, this is real, not an extremely clever photoshop job, and truly encapsulates what the Republican Party is all about.

Wide stance? Check.

In Minneapolis? Check.

Prison stripe-wearing? Check.

Starry eyed? Check.

As for the elephant humping the "2008"...

Are they going for a "Still screwing the country in 2008" theme, or is it a reference to hypocritical adulterers like David Vitter and just about the entire Republican presidential field?

All of the above? Check!

Apparently they ran out of space for a collapsing bridge.

Update: Can't you just picture the Daily Show and Colbert Report writers salivating at the possibilities?

Update II: From the comments:

- The Blue-to-Red ratio looks to be about 80%-20%. That sounds about right for the 2008 election too.

- [I]t looks like the elephant is wrapping himself in the flag.

- Very appropriate for 2008. The elephant has Assumed the Position

- Crapping on Minneapolis?

- Elephants only stand on their hind legs for one thing; count on the Extinction Party to know nothing of their habits.

- [N]ot to mention that the head looks like a snake coming out of a monkey's ass.

And okay, this is my new favorite:

- Total roadkill. [I]t really does look like an elephant that just got ran over by a truck and is now splattered and dazed on the ground, covered in skid marks.

And more from what might be one of the funniest threads ever on this site:

- The Lone Star eye of Texas is trained on the "con" in convention. How appropriate

- The head looks like it is partially decapitated.

- An elephant never forgets how.

- Judging by the shape of the eye, I'd say he's been shot in the face by Cheney.