Saturday, March 31, 2007

My 201st Post

The last post was my 200th. The text came up funky, though, but the area that didn't show up correctly was supposed to read:

Overall Performance Rating- completed by Manager

[] Outstanding - Performance consistently far exceeds job requirements.

[] Successful
- Performance fully meets job requirements.

[X] Needs Improvement - Performance may meet some, but not all, job requirements.

Anyway, this website is falling behind in its quest for becoming more popular than Michelle Malkin's. In order to increase traffic, I'm going to add random non-political photos below. Please feel free and ignore them to your heart's content.
Michelle Kwan's Got Milk Ad
Finding Jesus in the glass
Al Kabong surfing in Bosnia?
These are the Tiger Sharks from the Cartoon. I think I'm the only person who remembers who they are.

George Bush's Job Performance Review

Performance Review Form


Employee: George W. Bush


Title: President


Department: Executive


Review Period: March 2006 – March 2007

Job Responsibilities (Employee Comments)
Please briefly describe.

The decider. Breaking taxes for rich people. Listening to advice from Dick and Condi. Working Saturdays, sometimes even Sundays. Hard work. Strategery. Listening to the American people. Listening in on the American people. Commandering the troops.

Accomplishments (Employee Comments)
Please list your top three accomplishments this year.

1. Surged Troops

2. Pronounced “Micromanage” correctly over 15 times!

3. Kept my approval rating from dropping more than 5 percent during the whole year.

Accomplishments (Manager Comments)
Please list this individuals top three accomplishments this year.

1. Fired Rumsfeld

2. Created More Jobs United the American People Successfully Lead the Country Fired Walter Reed Generals Weightman, Harvey and Kiley. I call them the Weightster, the Harvster, and the Kilester.

3. … Found Barney’s rubber ball?

Strengths (Employee Comments)
Please list your top three strengths, and after each, give a specific example of an instance where this strength was exemplified.

1. Decidering

2. Public Speaking

3. Good judge of character.

Strengths (Manager Comments)
Please list this individual's top three strengths, and after each, give a specific example of an instance where this strength was exemplified.

1. Nickname generation

2. Has nice hair

3. Douchebaggery Attractive daughters Steadfastness

Opportunities for Improvement (Employee Comments)
Please list three areas where you could improve and develop performance.

1. Learning to be more of a uniter, not a divider

2. Increase my dictionariage.

3. Watch more Fox News.

Opportunities for Improvement (Manager Comments)
Please list three areas where this individual could improve and develop performance.

1. Iraq

2. Intelligence

3. Leadership, decision making ability, parenting skills, open-mindedness…

Goals/Objectives for the coming year. Please include development planning and training (Manager Comments)

Since Bush’s development has stalled due to the drug use in his youth, the goals for 2007-2008 involve pulling soldiers out of Iraq, learning to understand the environment, taking blame for his subordinates and not performing sexual favors for oil companies.

Overall Performance Rating- completed by Manager

[] Outstanding - Performance consistently far exceeds job requirements.


[] Successful
- Performance fully meets job requirements.


[X] Needs Improvement
- Performance may meet some, but not all, job requirements.

Overall Manager Comments

Suffers form narcissistic personality disorder. Projects blame onto others. Fails miserably in leadership and decision making. Often refers to himself as if messianic. Struggles to understand even basic government principals. Has difficulty firing poor employees. Believes the “jury is still out” on evolution. Often makes annoying farting noises at work and refers to high government level employees with inappropriate nicknames like “Turd Blossom” and “Congressman Kickass.” Made fun of Blind Reporter. Fails to understand percentages when discussing approval ratings. Has difficultly changing failed policies. Tends to hire personal friends.

Employee Comments (optional)

I’m the decider. And where mistakes were made… The responsibility rests with me.


Employee Signature

03/31/07

Date

Note: this signature only indicates receipt of the review; not agreement


Manager Signature

03/31/07

Date

God

Up-One-Level Signature

03/31/07

Date

Friday, March 30, 2007

Why We Are Time Magazine's Person of the Year

While the idea of "You" being Time Magazine's "person of the year" (received not a dime from it) is laughable, if not comedic, the other day marked a fine example of why "We" have earned that title.

John McCain's Myspace page - I should note here that yes, the 70 year old senator who hates bloggers has a myspace page - was "hacked" the other day, with a blurb placed under his photo that said:

"Today I announce that I have reversed my position and come out in full support of gay marriage... particularly marriage between passionate females."

While a 70 year old man enjoying the idea of lesbians is not surprising, nor is the idea of someone hacking into John McCain's myspace a tremendous shock, the real story is how the message got on his myspace page at all. Contrary to what was announced in the media, John McCain's myspace page was not hacked at all. What had in fact occurred was that the people who programmed his profile broke one of the most common rules of internet etiquette or "netiquette." The programmers (perhaps John McCain himself? Not likely) stole the image from Newsvine.com without either giving him credit (which, in general, is all the website owner asks) or hosting it on his own server. So Mike, from Newsvine, changed the file and it showed up on John Mccain's web page.

"Numerous people have written me over the last few weeks to tell me that McCain has been using my code, but up until I realized he was pulling images from my server, I didn't really care. A lot of celebrities including Ryan "Van Wilder" Reynolds and the beautiful Nelly Furtado use my code and I'm totally cool with it.

But then I read the article in today's Newsweek about how politicians are all setting up MySpace pages in order to "connect" with younger audiences. McCain's MySpace page is listed, as are the pages from several other candidates. I think the idea of politicians setting up MySpace pages and pretending to actually use them is a bit disingenuous...

So, the only thing necessary to effectively commandeer McCain's page with my own messaging was to simply replace my own sample image on my server with a newly created sample on my server. No server but my own was touched and no laws were broken.

Abortion? The Iraq War? Probably too heavy to joke about. Gay marriage seemed like a more of a non-lethal subject to center the prank around."

Not long ago, McCain tried to get a bill passed that would make bloggers liable for the comments on their page. It seems the internet has not been friendly to the "Straight Talk" candidate. In the words of Mike from Newsvine:

So with a few minutes in Photoshop and a quick FTP, a new John McCain was born...

...and The Straight-Talk Express isn't just for straight people anymore.


Click here for more on the story.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Only Bush Shrine


In case your computer screen has low resolution, this is a soldier pissing in Bush's mouth. If I'm not mistaken, that's the closest thing to supporting the troops that the "President" has done in his six years in office.

Cuba Becoming New Home for Liberals

"I'm part of this country, like it or not. And I have the right to work for its future" - Strawberry and Chocolate

George W. Bush has long been an advocate for banning gay marriage. Whether it be because of his adopted religion he found after he was caught drunk driving, or - more likely - because he has some unexplainable "feelings" towards Karl Rove, "President" Bush is a man who is dead set against the of a man sharing the bed of another man.

So which country is taking the lead on gay and lesbian rights? You may be surprised to find out that it is Cuba. Cuba, the socialist country that is viewed as an enemy to the United States, has already granted gay marriages, offered sex changes free of charge, and even had a movie about homophobia commissioned by the government itself. Led by Fidel's niece Mariela Castro, who is also head of the Cuban National Center for Sex Education (some of you may be thinking... "sex education"? What's that? But in countries run by more intelligent dictators, it's a kind of schooling meant to make sure you don't die or have lots of little unwanted republican babies), Cuba has enacted various laws supporting gay rights and enacted programs designed to reduce the amount of homophobia in the Cuban communities.

"Because of our historical heritage, Cuban society has been intolerant of homosexuals," said Ruben Remigio Ferro, president of Cuba's Supreme Court. "But there has been a change in thinking. We are developing a program to educate people about sexual orientation. But it is not a problem that has been solved."

It makes you wonder how a country with a Marxist militant history can transform its opinion of homosexuals while our "liberal" society has gay marriage banned in 48½ states (48 + Rhode Island recognizes marriages made in Massachusetts).

Click Here to Read More

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

There's No Need to Fear

From YouTube:

.....Sweet.

Monday, March 26, 2007

David Hicks - Australian Detainee at Guantanamo Pleads Guilty


Amazing how many people have been pleading guilty to terrorism recently. Almost makes it seem like someone beat the crap out of them. Hm....

From the New York Times:

GUANTANAMO BAY NAVAL BASE, Cuba (AP) -- An Australian terror suspect pleaded guilty Monday to a war-crime charge of providing material support to terrorism.

David Hicks was the first detainee to face prosecution under revised military tribunals set up after the Supreme Court found the Pentagon's previous system for trying Guantanamo prisoners unconstitutional. He is accused of fighting alongside al-Qaida in Afghanistan.

At the pretrial hearing, the 31-year-old Hicks entered the plea before a military judge in a courtroom on this U.S. naval base.

Hicks, a Muslim convert, is one of some 385 prisoners being held by the United States at Guantanamo. Officials have said they plan to prosecute as many as 80 Guantanamo prisoners, and some could face the death penalty.


Sunday, March 25, 2007

Bush Cartoons from the Seattle Times

Well, now that my NCAA tournament brackets are ruined beyond belief, I no longer have interest in watching the TV. So for now, amuse yourselves with the following Bush cartoons from the Seattle Times:


More comic artists should do work like this. Nothing says "worst president ever" like a comic that makes his face look like a shriveled ogre.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

More U.S. Soldiers Suffering From Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

From The Onion:

Report: More U.S. Soldiers Suffering From Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

NORFOLK, VA—Pre-traumatic stress disorder, a future-combat-related psychological condition previously thought to afflict only young soldiers drafted against their will, is now found in growing numbers among National Guard members, Army, Navy, Marine, and Air Force reservists, semi-retired officers, and the newly recruited, according to a government study released Monday.
Enlarge Image More US R

Marines prepare to be shipped off to Iraq.

"When soldiers are put in the extreme situation of facing the possibility of large-scale death and shocking violence, many experience sleeplessness and outbursts of anger," said Walter Reed Army Hospital psychologist Capt. Sidney Mullenthauer. "We're seeing more victims experience vivid, ultra-realistic flash-forwards of roadside bombings that tear through a group of innocent children, or rocket attacks on their convoys that leave fellow soldiers charred and smoldering."

"Many of these poor souls are forced to prelive, over and over again, a landmine blowing their legs off, or large pieces of shrapnel becoming lodged in the sides of fellow soldiers' faces," he added.

Army Pfc. Henry Gerard, 19, who suffers from acute Pre-TSD, said he blames the federal government for putting him in this mentally debilitating state.

"The government knows exactly what they intend to put me through, and they still haven't done a damn thing about it, man," said Gerard, who, nearly three weeks before reporting to Fallujah, suffers from nightmares in which his potential best friend is beheaded. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, my hands constantly shake. I'm going to a place where people I don't even know will try to kill me. What the fuck?"

"I'm not the same man I once was," Gerard said, adding that he spends every night drinking to drown out the screams and cries for help he expects to hear. "War is going to be hell."

The study, conducted by the Department Of Future Veterans Affairs, found that 80 percent of part-time soldiers reported no signs of Pre-TSD while carrying out their obligatory one weekend of duty a month, but quickly developed severe symptoms upon receiving orders for active combat.

"This is also the first time we have observed both pre- and post-traumatic stress disorders occurring simultaneously," said Mullenthauer, who explained that the phenomenon is found most often among reservists who have returned home after completing their tour of duty and before being called up for an extra assignment.
Enlarge Image More US Jump R

A growing number of reservists suffer from flash-forwards of gruesome urban combat in Iraq.

Researchers said the disorder can be brought on by the thought of holding a lifeless body in one's hands, the unshakable sense of dread accompanying an imagined nighttime ambush, and the stress of realizing one will spend 18 to 24 months in a foreign land thousands of miles from home in which death or severe injury seem all but inevitable.

In addition, a significant number of those who will enter a war zone say they are plagued by repeated visions of atrocities, torture, and the CNN logo.

One reservist, who has chosen to take the disease head-on by reporting to Iraq on his scheduled date, is Pvt. Franklin Mitchell, 31, husband and father of two. According to Mitchell's wife, Marian Mitchell, her husband's Pre-TSD was brought on by the proto-memories of being taken hostage.

"At first, of course, he was excited to get some money for college to study computer programming," Mitchell said. "But when he came home after learning he was going to Iraq, he broke into a cold sweat and grew extremely depressed remembering how he will eventually have to shoot and kill another human being at close range."

Researchers have recently identified new segments of the population also considered to be at risk for Pre-TSD, including parents of children approaching military age, Iraqi citizens, and any person who watches more than three hours of television news per day.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Reign Over Me Has Liberal Message on Lamp

I just saw "Reign Over Me" - the new movie starring Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle and Jada Pinkett Smith.

I won't bore you with the story. It's a good movie, and you can read the premise on IMDB if you'd like.

But there was one part in the movie that thrilled me. One snippet of a scene that warmed my heart. What makes that so important, is that I am probably the only one in the movie theater that saw it and possibly even the only person who noticed it at all.

Don Cheadle plays a dentist, and like any dentist, he has a dental assistant. He was having a humorous conversation - related to the movie - with this assistant, when I noticed something very small on the lamp behind the assistant's shoulder:
It was difficult to notice. It barely took up 1/100th of the movie screen, if that, and was hidden behind the woman's arm. No one else in the theater said anything. And why would they? Even if someone did know what this was, they would have to look really hard to notice it on the screen. But I knew. I'd seen this exact image on numerous websites and online stores.

The image comes from the bumper sticker below:
To those that haven't seen the movie, you could think that this is because it is a lefty-political movie that is preaching to the nation. You'd be wrong. There is no mention of politics throughout the movie. They barely mention 9/11 and usually only in the context of Adam Sandler's grief. But this 1/3rd of this one little message, a message no one saw but me, was right there, on the screen - for roughly 15 seconds.

01/20/2009. Bush's last day. Brilliant.

Fox News will love to hear about this...

House Approves Iraq Timetable

In what Republicans refer to as "Micromanaging the war" (coincidentally using the only polysyllabic word that house republicans know), Democrats in the house of representatives narrowly approved a spending bill with an addendum supporting a withdrawal from Iraq by September of 2008.

The bill, entitled - and I sh*t you not, this is its actual title - "Making emergency supplemental appropriations for fiscal year ending September 30, 2007, and for other purposes" passed by a small margin, 218-212, with just 2 Republicans joining 216 Democrats in voting for it, while 14 Democrats and 198 Republicans that don't want to win again in 2008 voted against it. The bill, which I will refer to by its acronym, MESAFFYES32-AFOP (has a nice ring to it, like the PATRIOT act), has already received the Bush veto promise - and the Democrats don't have the votes to override the veto. Yet, thanks to Bush's failure at being, the symbolism is almost as important as the bill passing. As Representative Charles Rangel said "When we legislate, we legislate to win... and we have only echoed what the American people have said... and No president, Democrat or Republican, can fight a war that the American people are against."

MESAFFYES32-AFOP also gives millions to farmers and low income families, so if Bush denies it he is withholding money from those that need it.

Some of the Democrats the opposed the bill, including Barbara Lee of California, opposed it because they did not believe it was anti-war enough. Still, a timetable for 2008 is the first step towards ending the war that shouldn't have started in the first place. Perhaps as the outrage increases, the pressure to bring them home earlier will make the date meaningless. Keep up the good work, MESAFFYES32-AFOP.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Mayor Calls for Impeachment, Romney Stops Calling Him


Ah, Mitt. How little we know about you. In Utah (home to many Mormons like Mitt Romney), a mayor by the name of Ross (Rocky) Anderson has become a loud voice for the impeachment of "President" George W. Bush.

But unlike every other intelligent person in America (get it? get it?) what makes Rocky special is that he is close friends with Mitt Romney.

Correction: he was close friends with Mitt Romney. Romney, who met Mr. Anderson while helping organize the Salt Lake City Olympic games, has decided that their friendship has become more surface level.

"He was a mayor that worked well with me during the Olympics, and I supported his work as a mayor," said Romney, "I do not endorse or support his views on President Bush or almost any other issue, particularly that's unrelated to being a mayor."

Read the full article here.

While Romney's cowardice to discuss the failures of our current "president" are nauseating, he is right about one thing. Being a mayor is not the same thing as being a national politician.

Giuliani? Anyone?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Painting for 40 million dollars?

This is unimportant, but I saw a New York Times article about David Rockefeller selling a Mark Rothko painting with the hopes that it will sell for 40 million dollars. The painting is below:

Dude... this is the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It's name is “White Center (Yellow, Pink and Lavender on Rose).” For just 1 million dollars, I will recreate this painting, add three more colors to its name, and throw in a nude magazine. Anyone? Anyone at all?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Jesus

I found this on Moron Cowboy:

I thought it was funny. Apparently you can buy the button here.

An Anniversary Come and Gone


Does Hallmark make anniversary cards for Iraq? Something like: "Sorry I f*cked up your country and ours," and when you open it up, it plays "The Final Countdown" with the date 01/20/09 - or some equivalent?

Probably not. Hallmark donates 87% to Republicans anyway. Best not to support them.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Larry the Cable Guy - A Fraud?

Daniel Lawrence Whitney, aka "Larry the Cable Guy" - comedian extraordinaire to blue collar Republicans and human-reminder to change the channel for Democrats, is a fake, a fraud, a phony, and impostor. Dare I say it, a mountebank.

Yes - one of the last remaining comedic outlets of Republicanism in today's liberal media, Blue Collar Comedy tour is the television home of a middle class gentleman posing as a blue collar hick.

Here are some YouTube videos that show the truth behind the fat (note: none of these jokes are funny at all - watch at your own risk).



A native of Nebraska that now lives in Florida? Shame on you, Dan Whitney. Shame on you. At least it's not just the act - you've never been funny.

-------

By the way, who chooses to take on the persona of an incestuous flannel wearing mentally challenged farmer/electric company employee? I withhold judgment.

The Heart of Darkness - By Michelle Cottle

A while back I wrote a semi-researched post entitled "Iraqnophobia" about Cheney's medical problems. Well, Michelle Cottle from the New Republic has written her own article (presumably after reading my humorous post - although I was not cited) about Dick Cheney's potential mental problems due to his heart condition. The article itself is over 1800 words and it would take up like 5 printer pages for me to post the entire thing here, so here are the first few paragraphs. It's interesting, and worth reading. [photos added]

Heart of Darkness
By Michelle Cottle, New Republic 9/3/07

What is wrong with Dick Cheney? Since the earliest days of his vice presidency, people have been asking this question. At first, it was mostly out of partisan pique; but, increasingly, it's in troubled tones, as one of the most powerful men on the planet grows ever more rigid, belligerent, and just plain odd in both his public utterances ("Go fuck yourself," Senator Leahy) and private actions (shoot a man in the face and not bother to call your boss 'til the next day: What's up with that?). In October 2005, longtime Bush-Cheney pal Brent Scowcroft fanned the Dick-has-changed flames when he told The New Yorker, "I consider Cheney a good friend--I've known him for thirty years. But Dick Cheney I don't know anymore." By the following February, a Newsweek profile noted that speculation as to the causes of the vice president's "darkening persona" had become a favorite Beltway parlor game. ("Has he been transformed, warped, perhaps corrupted--by stress, wealth, aging, illness, the real terrors of the world or possibly some inner goblins?") Fast-forward a year, and Cheney can hardly open his mouth without setting off a fresh wave of buzz about whether he has finally gone 'round the bend. As Washington Post columnist Jim Hoagland recently asked, "Is the vice president losing his influence, or perhaps his mind?"

Much of the Cheney speculation focuses on September 11 and the nation's subsequent immersion in a shadowy new breed of war. Another popular theory holds that Cheney's time in the private sector--and the enormous wealth, power, and privacy to which he grew accustomed--spoiled him for a return to public service. Yet another posits that Cheney, recognizing this president's need for a strong father figure, has gotten carried away with his role as White House pater familias. But, alongside such talk of external stressors, the possibility is often floated that Cheney's transformation has a more physiological root--specifically, that the vice president's chronic heart problems are to blame. While this theory tends to be quickly dismissed as lacking concrete proof, it nonetheless resurfaces again and again, as if people are unable to dismiss the notion entirely.

Part of the problem may be that the science surrounding this issue remains, in many ways, as much of a puzzle as the vice president himself. Currently, there exists an impressive (and growing) pile of research indicating numerous ways in which a person's cardiovascular troubles--as well as the treatment he receives for them--may erode his mental acuity, especially as a body ages. But there is, as yet, little consensus about the exact hows, whys, and what-to-do-about-its involved. Even so, considering all that we know about the sorry state of Cheney's circulatory system--spotlighted most recently by the March 5 news that the v.p. is suffering from deep vein thrombosis, a potentially fatal blood clot in his left leg that will require months of treatment with blood thinners--it seems only prudent to bring the cocktail chatter into the open and examine some of the research linking heart health and cognitive function. Is there, in fact, any medical basis for the persistent speculation that--war, terrorism, and partisan politics notwithstanding--the trouble with Dick Cheney is, quite literally, a broken heart?


Click here to continue.

Greeting Us As Liberators - the Four Year Rectal Itch

I've been toying with the idea of writing a satirical post about the four year anniversary of Bush's anal warts, but so far I haven't found the right tone or the joke that will make the story. IRAQ is not a good acronym for anything. Maybe I'll do a fake news story from the Conservative Republican Associated Press (aka: CRAP). Don't steal that, that's mine.

Until then, please enjoy these protest pictures from Bush's Latin American Trip, courtesy of the Guardian.


If you have any comedic ideas, comment here and I'll try to write it. I'll source you, too, if you have the best idea.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Another Satire from the Borowitz Report

March madness has me busy, so amuse yourselves with the following from the Borowitz report:

Bush Creates Department of Faulty Intelligence

Names Author James Frey as Chief

In response to what he called a “significant increase in the amount of misinformation about our enemies,” President George W. Bush today announced that he was establishing a new Cabinet-level agency devoted solely to faulty intelligence.

By creating the Department of Faulty Intelligence, Mr. Bush said, “The United States will be able to respond swiftly and preemptively to false threats before they don’t develop.”

The President said that while the CIA and the NSA had both collected faulty intelligence in the past, “there is simply too much misinformation out there for those two agencies to handle.”

Mr. Bush said that he hoped that the Department of Faulty Intelligence would not only increase the United States’ capacity to collect false leads and red herrings, but that it would also help coordinate the sharing of useless information among the U.S.’s various spy agencies.

Mr. Bush used the announcement at the White House to introduce his nominee to head up the new department, James Frey, the author of “A Million Little Pieces.”

Mr. Frey spoke mainly in general terms about the goals of the new agency, but indicated that it would focus on “the gathering threat” posed by Belgium’s nuclear program.

In his brief remarks to the press, Mr. Frey said that he was uniquely qualified to head the Department of Faulty Intelligence because of his “deep roots” in the faulty intelligence community.

“I will be bringing over four decades of experience to this job,” said Mr. Frey, 37.

Elsewhere, hours after Congress demanded an investigation into the firing of U.S. attorneys, President Bush said he would move the White House to Dubai.

Friday, March 16, 2007

What?


Yeah.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Liberal Street - Get off on Moderate Avenue, Take a Sharp Left

I wish I lived here. From Flickr:

Sometimes I feel like I do.

Giuliani’s Ex-wives March on Washington

(Political Satire - Photos Added)
From the Borowitz Report:

In a dramatic display of political strength in numbers, an organization comprising the ex-wives of Republican presidential candidate Rudolph Giuliani marched on Washington today, demanding that their thousands of voices be heard.

The organization, which calls itself Focus on the Ex-Family and which claims as its members all 300,000 former wives of the former New York City mayor, marched from the Capitol building to the White House in one of the largest political demonstrations in recent memory.

By organizing the massive demonstration in the nation’s capital, the exes of New York’s former mayor were hoping to prove that they are the Republican Party’s largest single voting bloc and thus deserve a prominent role in choosing the G.O.P. nominee.

Carol Foyler, executive director of Focus on the Ex-Family, said that over 250,000 ex-wives of Mr. Giuliani had turned out for the march, although police estimated the crowd at closer to 200,000.

Still, according to Washington mayor Adrian M. Fenty, the turnout was impressive: “It’s amazing that Rudy has so many wives, and he isn’t even the Mormon guy in this race.”

By standing up and demanding that they be counted, Mr. Giuliani’s hundreds of thousands of ex-wives may have a profound impact on the way the nation perceives the former New York City mayor, according to Davis Logsdon, head of the political science department at the University of Minnesota.

“For some time, Rudolph Giuliani has been thought of as ‘America’s Mayor,’” Dr. Logsdon said. “This march on Washington shows that he is ‘America’s Ex-husband,’ too.”

Elsewhere, in recognition of Daylight Savings Time, President Bush set the country back fifty years.

NCAA Tournament Under Way

College Basketball's most exciting period. Thusfar, I'm 5 for 5. I have two brackets, one where I think Oregon will win (my wishful thinking bracket, even though I'm a UW Husky fan - they're not in the tournament this time, so I have to root for someone) and my Librocrat bracket, which is more realistic.

Even though I'm tied for 1st on Yahoo, I was not upset that I wasn't listed yet as a point leader on their front page, when I saw the following person instead:

Awesome.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Terrorism Suspect in Guantánamo Confesses to Planning 9/11

I'll let you read the full article in The Guardian. But for the summary: Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the alleged Al-Qaeda terrorist, confessed today to being involved in 9/11, comparing himself and Al-Qaeda to George Washington against the British.

From the article [emphasis added]:

He allegedly also confesses to being a member of the al-Qaida council and the "military operational commander for all foreign operations". These include surveying the assassination of former American presidents, including Jimmy Carter, and planning to bomb suspension bridges in New York. In all, he has allegedly confessed to being responsible for 31 separate attacks or planned attacks, including ones on Heathrow airport, Canary Wharf and Big Ben in London.

It is not clear why Mohammed would have wished to confess to such a wide-ranging number of outrages. The alleged confession is likely, however, to stiffen the resolve of the Bush administration in pursuing its controversial policy of putting the biggest cases of suspected terrorism through the closed military hearings.

The procedures have come under intense criticism from human rights groups on the grounds that the defendants are not entitled to normal rights of legal representation, and the hearings are closed to public scrutiny.

To repeat, it is not clear why Mohammed would confess to crimes instead of continue to live in his top-secret military prison. But my thought is that it has something to do with this picture of himself:
Almost looks like someone beat the crap out of him doesn't it?

I'm the Decider - Dr. Seuss

I received this in a forward. "I'm the Decider" - A Dr. Seuss Poem. And don't forget to contribute to the anti-Republican presidential poetry (link at the top of each page).

Enjoy:

By Roddy McCorley

I'm The Decider


I'm the decider. I pick and I choose.
I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.
And as I decide
Each particular day,
The things I decide on
All turn out that way.
I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.
I decided on tax cuts
That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.
And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none
Would be more than enough!
I decided that schools
All in all are the best.
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.
I decided those wages
You need to get by,
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.
I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe,
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.
I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.
That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided-
As "just Goddamn paper"*
It should be derided.
I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.
And Cheney and Rummy
And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.
I'm the Decider
So watch what you say,
Or I may decide
To have you whisked away.
Or I'll tap your phones.
Your e-mail I'll read.
'cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.

* This is an exact Bush quote!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Learn Something New Every Day

Law and Order... For president?

I did not know that the DA from Law and Order, "Arthur Branch," was actually ex-senator from Tennessee, Fred Thompson. The character he plays on television is an über-neoconservative, and it was disheartening to know that he was the same in real life as well.

But now the actor/senator is considering running for president. The article here:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Not enough "star" power for Fred Thompson in a GOP presidential field that includes some of his friends? Whatever the case, the actor and former Tennessee senator is considering getting into the 2008 race.

Thompson, who plays district attorney Arthur Branch on NBC's drama "Law & Order," said Sunday, "I'm giving some thought to it, going to leave the door open" and decide in the coming months. "It's not really a reflection on the current field at all," he said.

"I'm just going to wait and see what happens," Thompson added. "I wanted to see how my colleagues who are on the campaign trail do now, what they say, what they emphasize, what they're addressing, and how successful they are in doing that, and whether or not they can carry the ball in next November."

Thompson, 64, said he was pondering a run after former Senate Majority Leader Howard Baker and other Tennessee Republicans began drumming up support for his possible GOP candidacy, citing his conservative credentials.

"I think people are somewhat disillusioned. I think a lot of people are cynical out there. I think they're looking for something different. ... and I think that they're going to be open to different things," he said.

"It will be interesting to me as I listen to people and learn and watch what's going on and what's the reaction, and the poll numbers and so forth, as to whether or not my instinct on that is right."


Ugh. Why.

On the issues, Thompson said he:

_Is "pro-life," and believes federal judges should overturn the 1973 Roe v. Wade abortion rights decision as "bad law and bad medical science."

_Opposes gay marriage, but would let states decide whether to allow civil unions. "Marriage is between a man and a woman, and I don't believe judges ought to come along and change that."

_Opposes gun control, and praised last week's 2-1 federal appeals decision overturning a long-standing handgun ban. "The court basically said the Constitution means what it says, and I agree with that."

_Supports President Bush's decision to increase troops in Iraq. "Wars are full of mistakes. You rectify things. I think we're doing that now," he said. "Why would we not take any chance, even though there's certainly no guarantees, to not be run out of that place? I mean, we've got to take that opportunity and give it a chance to work."

_Would pardon former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's conviction for perjury and obstruction of justice now, rather than waiting until all his appeals are exhausted. Thompson is a fundraiser for Libby's defense.

Thompson said he was not setting a deadline to make a decision and believes he won't be at a disadvantage if he waited until summer. "The lay of the land will be different in a few months than it is today, one way or the other."

He added, "One advantage you have in not ... having this as lifelong ambition is that if it turns out that your calculation is wrong, it's not the end of the world."

Thompson, the minority counsel in the Watergate investigation, was elected to the Senate in 1994 to fill the unexpired term of Vice President Al Gore. He was chairman of the Senate Governmental Affairs Committee and left the Senate in 2003 to resume his acting career.

Thompson has acted in films such as "The Hunt for Red October," "Cape Fear," and "In the Line of Fire."


He was also a strong candidate for vice president in 2000. Apparently, he was so bad, that we got Cheney.

Can the actor win? I think Lindsey Graham says it best:

"I think he makes a great president in the movies and he might make a great one in real life."


Yep. Because we all know that the only qualifications for being president - The ability to pretend to be one. Bush does it every day.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Gone for Two Days

I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon for a short trip. So, barring any hilarious news stories like Cheney shooting someone else in the face (or, better, vice versa), I don't expect to post anything. So amuse yourselves below with some Iraq music videos I found on YouTube. Also, please scroll down to read other posts. I'm proud of my posts this past week, but I won't be around to promote them.

Feel free and comment so I know you were here.

Enjoy the videos:



Lysol for Bush

I'm not making this up:

Priests to Purify Site After Bush Visit


By JUAN CARLOS LLORCA
The Associated Press
Friday, March 9, 2007; 12:20 AM

GUATEMALA CITY -- Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

"That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday.

The week's events from around the world, captured in pictures.

Bush's seven-day tour of Latin America includes a stopover beginning late Sunday in Guatemala. On Monday morning he is scheduled to visit the archaeological site Iximche on the high western plateau in a region of the Central American country populated mostly by Mayans.

Tiney said the "spirit guides of the Mayan community" decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of "bad spirits" after Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He also said the rites _ which entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles _ would prepare the site for the third summit of Latin American Indians March 26-30.

Bush's trip has already has sparked protests elsewhere in Latin America, including protests and clashes with police in Brazil hours before his arrival. In Bogota, Colombia, which Bush will visit on Sunday, 200 masked students battled 300 riot police with rocks and small homemade explosives.

The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting [sic] the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil."

Iximche, 30 miles west of the capital of Guatemala City, was founded as the capital of the Kaqchiqueles kingdom before the Spanish conquest in 1524.


I love the Mayans.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Ann Coulter - Wicked Witch

From Esoterically.net:

Ann Coulter... One small step for man, one giant leap backwards in evolution.