Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Don't Have Swine Flu. I'm Jewish.

California 7 cases
Kansas 2 cases
New York City 28 cases
Ohio 1 case
Texas 2 cases
TOTAL COUNT 40 cases


40 cases. In the entire US, there are only 40 cases of confirmed swine flu. In Canada, there are 6 more. The symptoms are as follows:

* Persistent indigestion, gas or nausea
* Unexplained changes in bowel habits, such as constipation
* Changes in bladder habits, including a frequent need to urinate
* Loss of appetite or quickly feeling full
* Increased abdominal girth or clothes fitting tighter around your waist
* Pain during intercourse (dyspareunia)
* A persistent lack of energy
* Lower back pain
* Changes in menstruation

No, wait, I'm sorry. That's ovarian cancer. Symptoms of swine flu are... the symptoms of every other flu in existence. This is not remotely a big deal. The flu is always upsetting, but this particular flu carries the same risks that every other flu carries. It is not more dangerous, nor is it an outbreak of a horrific new virus. It is the flu, once again, that just happens to have its origins in pigs.

14 comments:

Kristin said...

Ah Librocrat it is so nice and utterly refreshing to find someone else who is not in full panic mode. I work in a clinical lab and I am running flu test and it is business as usual for us only more of it. We are not remotely concerned about this. I wish the media would tone it down.

Librocrat said...

I can't wait for the next "Dreaded virus" from Africa that affects "literally HUNDREDS" of people around the globe that causes such symptoms as "runny nose, drowsiness and mild headache."

If the the common cold came from someplace that sounded scary, I would expect the same media reaction. Just wait until "Cockroach herpes" hits the US. It will be pandemonium!

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