My Fault For Not Updating...

I have a cold again, and thinking about politics only gives me a worse headache.

I think the "Snuggie" marks the beginning of the end of civilized society.

GOP Voices Disagreement

One of the things that happened when politics became more polarized is that people elected those that met their very - very - specific views, rather than the most qualified candidate. For obvious reasons, this occurred between parties, but less obvious is that it also occurred intra-parties.

That is, when deciding WHO would run for their party, Americans selected the one that met their most polarized view.

For the Democrats, this actually ended up being a very good thing. Democrats "valued" (in the polarized sense): Intellectualism, science and social issues. So we generally had Democrats run that met these principles. As much as Republicans may disagree with the ideas, no one can deny that this is a "Good thing" if you are a Democrat.

For the Republicans, this ended up being less advantageous (though it was effective at the time). Republicans "valued": Rigid conservatism, uber-patriotism and the "just like us" mentality. So the Republicans that ran in those areas tended to meet those parameters.

At the time, this was likely a good thing for the Republicans when they were winning the vocal wars. But what has happened is that the Republicans that are currently elected and getting re-elected are individuals that are, quite frankly, not that smart. They ran TOUTING their lack of social superiority, their rigid stance against any form of change, and with a focus on how dissent against a president was "anti-American" rather than actually discussing their qualifications for such an important position.

So that's where we are now. We have a government that is filled with Republicans that are in way over their heads because they were not necessarily the most intelligent Republicans available - rather, they were the ones that represented the LEAST vision but were able to vocalize why this made them better Americans. The GOP, especially in the house, is a vastly underqualified group of individuals trying to represent a party that they do not seem to fully understand.

Republicanism, as a political stance, is not necessarily stupid. I strongly disagree with it, but it has at least an interesting premise. When the people handling it understand how to make concessions for the greater public good, it may even be a useful tool. But the current GOP is a minority that consists solely of people that won by polarizing, rather than by substance. They are in way over their heads, and all they can do now is whine and whine.

What's Up With Iowa?

Well, there is at least one Republican I can get behind:

Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested that AIG executives should accept responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

The Republican lawmaker's harsh comments came during an interview Monday with Cedar Rapids, Iowa, radio station WMT. They echo remarks he has made in the past about corporate executives and public apologies, but went further in suggesting suicide.

"I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed," Grassley said. "But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.

"And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology."

Well said.

Dammit Stephen!

I love Stephen Colbert, but his guest tonight was David Grann, a guy who searched for a secret civilization in the Amazon, and probably found it. I say probably, because he is telling this incredible interesting story - something that is rare on these shows - and Stephen Colbert would not shut up and let him speak. He kept interrupting him with questions that were clearly about to be answered anyway, throwing this guy off of his rhythm and making the stories incomplete.

Stephen, buddy. Your job is to talk in order to make the interview interesting. But this interview actually was legitimately interesting without you. Please let the interesting people speak.

Now I actually have to buy this damn book. Dammit.

Once Again

Once again, I do not even need to post quotes from the story, since the summary covers the key point:

A.I.G. Planning Huge Bonuses After $170 Billion Bailout
By EDMUND L. ANDREWS and PETER BAKER

The insurer planned to pay about $165 million in bonuses by Sunday, though some payments were reduced after Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner intervened.

Definition:

bo⋅nus
   /ˈboʊnəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [boh-nuhs] Show IPA
–noun, plural -nus⋅es.
1. something given or paid over and above what is due.
2. a sum of money granted or given to an employee, a returned soldier, etc., in addition to regular pay, usually in appreciation for work done, length of service, accumulated favors, etc.

AIG Definition:

bo⋅nus
   /ˈboʊnəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [boh-nuhs] Show IPA
–noun, plural -nus⋅es.
1. something given or paid over and above what is due.
2. a sum of money granted or given to an employee, a returned soldier, etc., in addition to regular pay, for no reason since they suck at their jobs

You Suck. I'm serious. SUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Everyone at AIG should be fired, because they suck at their jobs. The purpose of a reward is to reward someone for something positive they have completed. I don't give my dog a treat because he shit on the carpet. The level of stupidity of these people is unfathomable.

Response to Banks Wanting to Return Bailout Money:

Okay, this is the second time I've posted it, but this still pisses me off:

Some Banks, Citing Strings, Want to Return Aid
By STEPHEN LABATON

Critics of the White House conditions on bailout funds say the measures border on social engineering.

Fine. Give the money back. Or better, give it to me. I will stimulate the economy like no one's business. I'll do what you failed to do. I'll invest in the stock market and buy houses I can actually afford without getting a loan. I'll try to save an economy that you helped ruin, since you are a bunch of morons. I'll even invest in other people's business ideas.

Wow. I can't even fathom this.

Banks: "We need money or we will go out of business thanks to our poor lending practices!"

Government: {{hands over money}}

Banks: "How dare you give us this money and expect us to change our habits. Limits on executive pay? COMMUNISTS!"

There must be a correlation between positions of power and degenerative brain cell tissue.

A Quick Comment:

This was the title and short description of an article on the New York Times:

Some Banks, Citing Strings, Want to Return Aid
By STEPHEN LABATON

Critics of the White House conditions on bailout funds say the measures border on social engineering.

Hm... Maybe it's because YOU SUCK AT WHAT YOU DO. Huh? What do you think? Think that could be it? Maybe if you didn't suck, the government wouldn't have had to bail you out.

Return the money. We didn't want to support you anyway, stupid.

The Axis of Drivel

Today, the New York Times Op-Ed Columnists were on fire:

Blow:

Let’s start with Jindal, who delivered his now-infamous, numbingly rote response to Obama’s national address in a kindergarten cadence. He fumbled his facts and sealed his fate. He then scurried off to Disney World to lick his wounds in a place where they appreciate a character and a fairy tale. Goofy. ...

Collins:

Bunning is one of a number of Republicans who have shown remarkable capacity for alienating voters even in red states. Meanwhile, there are currently only about three who have demonstrated any ability to get elected in the blue ones. They’re the same people who voted for the stimulus, and Steele has said that he’s open to denying them support in re-election campaigns.

Actually what Steele said was: “I’m always open to everything, baby, absolutely.” This came shortly after his vow to The Washington Times that the party would stand for conservative principles applied “to urban-suburban hip-hop settings.” It suggests that one of Steele’s most profound problems is a conviction that the Republican Party can become cool.

The Republican Party is not going to be cool. The Democratic Party is barely cool, and it has Barack Obama. The Republicans have Rush Limbaugh, a man whose popularity among Americans under the age of 60 is lower than a share of Citigroup stock.

Herbert:

More than 4.4 million jobs have been lost since this monster recession officially got under way in December 2007, and we’ve got people wigging out over earmarks. Folks, get a grip. Some earmarks are good, some are not, but collectively they account for a tiny, tiny portion of the national budget — less than 1 percent.

Freaking out over earmarks is like watching a neighborhood that is being consumed by flames and complaining that there is crabgrass on some of the lawns.

New York Times may be the only website that makes me want to turn off adblock and just click around to give them as much funding as possible.

Rush Limbaugh

Like being raped by a fat, sweaty, drug addicted rhinoceros, Rush Limbaugh continues to speak. I expect him to be the news for a while, so this will be a fun read in the interim.

The sweaty, swollen man in the black, half-buttoned shirt who ranted for nearly 90 minutes Saturday at the Conservative Political Action Conference. He reiterated his desire to see the president of his country fail. He misstated the Constitution’s intent while accusing President Obama of “bastardizing” the document. He made fun of one man’s service in Vietnam, to laughter.

The New Face(s) of the Republican Party

Republicans are trying to re-brand themselves. Realizing that they look like a bunch of old rich racish white guys that don't understand "the email," they are trying to give themselves a new face that will appeal to the broader public. And here, apparently, are their choices:



Bobby Jindal is the governor of Louisiana. He would be a great face to re-shape the Republican party - he is young (born in 1971), he is Indian (not Black so thy are not copying the Democrats!), conservative and... charming? Sure, why not. Charming.

The problem is that in addition to all of those things, no one really likes him. From Wikipedia:

Reactions to Jindal's speech and delivery were mostly negative, including those of fellow Republicans. Conservative commentators were among the harshest critics, calling his speech "amateurish", "childish", "stale", "insane", "a flop", and "a disaster for the Republican Party". Gail Collins, in her syndicated column emanating from the New York Times and published in Louisiana's Times-Picayune, zeroed in on Jindal's delivery, which, according to Collins, "sounded a little like a junior high schooler's entry into the Chamber of Commerce 'I Speak for Fiscal Restraint' contest."

Apologies for the Wikipedia reference but it is the easiest summary I have been able to find (a few links: 1, 2, 3). Regardless, no one likes him. And while one speech does not determine a presidency, it certainly isn't going to help the Republicans for a while. He may yet help them again in 2012 or 2014, but by then it may be too late to save their party.



Michael Steele - He's just like Barack Obama, except a stereotype!!!

In the last month, Steele has already used more youth slang from the late 1990's than Barack Obama has uttered in the last 10 years. While Republicans think they have offered up their version of the current president, what they have really offered is, by far, the least inspiring black political leader in the history of the world. He's uncharismatic, too conservative to ever match youth beliefs, unfunny, and has absolutely no pulse on current cultural dynamics. Way to go, Republicans.



Seriously, Fuck Joe the Plumber.

GM called me the other day. They asked me if I could find something that embodies their car lines - something that says "General Motors Makes High Quality Cars Made for You!" After hanging up the phone, I went to QFC and bought 3 boxes of Fiber one. 2 days later I went to the bathroom. I then scooped up the contents and froze them. Later, I took it out of the freezer, used a carving knife to fashion a Hummer H3, and handed it in to General Motors.

Yes kids, Joe the Plumber is the Republican's Hummer H3 carved out of frozen shit.



And the number one new face of the Republican party is ... (drumroll) ...

An Old Rich Racist White Guy! Woo!!! Hey, wait a minute. That's the same!

Rush Limbaugh is the Karl Rove of the Republican party, except unlike Karl Rove, Rush is significantly less intelligent and will never, ever, convince younger generations of non-idiots to vote for Republicans. He represents both the downfall of the Republican party (good) as well as the downfall of American society (bad). He spews hate speech and has a 20 million person following that is both dangerous and gullible. As long as he is the face of the Republicans, the Republicans are going to shrink to the point of being irrelevant. But as long as he controls 20 million people, he has a very frightening army of citizens that listen to his hate speech and blow it even further out of proportion.

So that's it. Those are the new faces of the Republican party. A governor no one likes, a chairman no one will like, an idiot, and a louder idiot. I don't think the re-brand is going well.