The Strategy to Win McCain the Election

Palin and McCain have found the strategy it looks like they are going to stick with. The "Don't Write Us Off" strategy. What they do is they go from state to state and say "we can still come back" or "it's not over yet" or "team X knows a little something about being an underdog" and then they compare Obama to a socialist and then leave for another state.

This is a stupid strategy.

There are less than 2 weeks until the election. You are not going to pick up 7-10 more points nationally by telling people that you are losing but hope to pick up votes. What McCain is doing is analogous to apologizing before a speech - "I'm sorry in advance if this speech sucks, I didn't have time to practice." He is making himself sound bad before he tries to excite people - and with that, with the exception of the socialism argument that hasn't seemed to hold much weight, he doesn't say anything to win over those 7-8% of voters. He is speaking directly to his supporters assuming that he is going to win over voters that are not in attendance at every one of these events.

He has very little left. Attack ads haven't worked. This socialism thing is stupid. Robocalls only served to alienate voters and trying to steal the message of "change" away from Barack Obama was never going to work, ever. It is time to give up - not on the campaign, but on these stupid strategies that were designed to appeal to the Bush parts of America.

McCain has one option left. The Republican strategy has always been to appeal to gullible people that will somehow believe that the Kerry swiftboat attacks were real, or that Obama is a Muslim, or that Hillary Clinton secretly had someone killed. It is the Sarah Palin strategy - be a good hockey mom that someone can have a beer with or buy a beer for and you will get people to think: "Awesome, this woman is just like me. She would make a perfect president because I would too!"

But this year, people are finally looking for something different - they are looking for someone to show that they can intelligently run this country. Someone that has actual, substantive, possibly even complicated plans to run this country. Someone that can understand complex things.

The only way McCain can win the election is if he starts running it how campaigns were meant to be run - as though he were intelligent. Explain specific, complicated plans - don't talk in ways that Joe the Belcher can understand, but show that you are not an unintelligent prick by laying out comprehensive plans for the country.

His last hope is to show people his actual plans for the country in all aspects of foreign and domestic policy. What Barack Obama does every day that seems to give him this "elitist" label is what McCain needs to do, otherwise he is wasting time and money.

John McCain should lose. Obama is a better candidate in every way. But McCain's best strategy is also the one that even many Barack Obama supporters want to see - because if McCain also finally starts providing a clear, intelligent message, it will be easier to have hope for the future country.

The Curmudgeon John Sidney McCain III

This is less funny than I thought it would be, but I took the time to write it and no one is going to read it anyway, so here you go:

Op-Ed Columnist
The Curmudgeon John Sidney McCain III
By Joe the Plumber
Published: October 16, 2008

IF you think way back to the start of this marathon campaign, back when it seemed preposterous that any old man could be a serious presidential contender, then you remember the biggest fear about John McCain: a crazy person might give him a heart attack.

“I’ve got the best health in the world, so stop worrying,” McCain reassured his supporters. Eventually the country got conditioned to his appearing in loud arenas without incident (though I confess that the first large numbers of young people at the end of his convention speech gave me a start). In America, nothing does succeed like success. The fear receded.

Until now. At Obama-Biden rallies, the raucous and insistent cries of “Octogenarian!” and “Senile!” and “Nursing Home!” and “Get off my lawn!” as well as the uninhibited slinging of elderly epithets, are actually something new in a campaign that has seen almost every conceivable twist. They are alarms. Doing nothing is not an option.

What makes them different, and what has pumped up the Weimar-like rage at Obama-Biden rallies, is the violent escalation in rhetoric, especially (though not exclusively) by Obama. McCain “launched his political career in the living room of James Garfield.” He is “palling around with elderly Jews” (note the plural noun). McCain is “not a man who sees America the way you and I see America. At this point in his life, he’s not sure where he is.” Wielding a wildly out-of-context McCain quote, Biden slurs him as an enemy of young kids and their music.

By the time McCain asks the crowd “Who is the real John McCain? I’m serious, I forgot.” it’s no surprise that someone cries out “Corpse!” The rhetorical conflation of McCain with old dead people is complete.

That’s a far cry from simply accusing McCain of being a senile-by-correlation-with-his-age erratic old fogey. McCain is being branded as an accessory to past attempts at signing the constitution. “John McCain’s friend tried to discover India” was how an Obama press release last week packaged the remembrance of the Santa Maria incident from 1492 — when McCain was 8.

Could the old ageist politics still be determinative? I’ve long been skeptical of the incessant press prognostications (and Republican panic) that this election will be decided by educated young men on the Coasts.

But we’re not at Election Day yet, and if voters are to have their final say, both America and McCain have to get there safely. The Obama campaign has crossed the line between tough negative campaigning and inciting ageism, and each day the mob continues to listen to that “rap music.” The onus is on the man who says he puts his country first to call off the dogs, pit bulls and otherwise.

Not that Important, Interesting Nonetheless

Several years ago, William Buckley Jr., a conservative, founded the National Review - A Newspaper with a right wing lean. In a way, it is the Fox News of Newspapers, except they generally do not make up facts - only choose what to discuss and believe, and hire almost exclusively conservatives for their editorials.

Buckley's son, Christopher, is equally as conservative and also wrote for the National Review.

Until now.

Despite a like for McCain and his continued conservatism, Chris Buckley endorsed Barack Obama for president.

Needless to say, the subscribers of the National Review were displeased - so displeased, in fact, that his personal opinion of a presidential candidate had thousands of individuals emailing the Newspaper to cancel their subscription - even though the endorsement did not actually take place in the pages of the National Review.

Buckley resigned from his own dad's newspaper.

For an editorial columnist, his endorsement is not that well written. But his reasoning is sound, even for a conservative, as to why someone with his views seems McCain as the wrong pick.

Hint: Palin - big part of that.

Full article here.

Something Nice About McCain

While it was his fault for getting this started, I have to give credit for McCain for realizing that it has gotten out of hand. At the recent rally, he had to correct someone in the crowd that said he was genuinely scared of Obama as President, by pointing at that Obama was a good man (receiving boos from his own supporters).

He then took the Microphone away from a woman that called him a Muslim and said "no, he's not. He's a good family man and not a Muslim." You also hear the woman saying out of embarrassment and confusion "He's not?"

While it is McCain's fault that all of this got started, and likely his fault that it will still continue, at least he did what few other Republicans would and tried to correct them - at his own rallies, on the Microphone.

Don't vote for him. You don't get credit for correcting something that you caused, and it was his own strategy of trying to refer to Obama as a terrorist that made this anger arise in his supporters. But at least he's said something about it. Let's see if that kind of honesty will continue so that he loses with dignity instead of with disgrace.

Zero -

That is how many times John McCain looked at Obama during the entire debate. Even after being instructed to look directly at Obama, he did not glance over, nor did he ever engage in discussion.

A man that cannot look at his opponent is not presidential. He's a coward. The only reason not to look is because you're frightened. You're either frightened or racist, and since I'm not going to assume the latter, the only choice is the former. He wants to say he isn't afraid, but the old man wouldn't look at him once. Even when they shook hands at the end of the debate, McCain looked away. That's pathetic.

Political Ploys

John McCain (canceling the debates):

“I am calling on the President to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Obama and myself. It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem.”

Barack Obama:

“This is exactly the time when people need to hear from the candidates. Part of the president’s job is to deal with more than one thing at once. In my mind it’s more important than ever.”

McCain needs more time to deal with the problem that he himself created. Meanwhile, Barack Obama can multitask. Which of these two people appears more qualified to be president?

The Fundementals of Our Economy Are Strong

So, so true. Using that same logic, here are a number of other things that are true:

- Fox News is fair and balanced.
- The Bridge to Nowhere goes somewhere.
- The Muppets are based on the characters from Casablanca.
- MySpace is user friendly.
- The most effective way to get over depression is to cut yourself.
- Mosquito bites are love bumps by Jesus.
- Sarah Palin is qualified to be President.

That one line may have singlehandedly lost him over 200,000 votes or more from people who now realize he's an idiot.

~~~~

One more quick thought on the Palin pick:

One of the things picking Sarah Palin did was it brought John McCain back into the spotlight. Before the conventions, Barack Obama was on every channel and John McCain was barely mentioned. This brought a lot of complaints by the McCain campaign about unfair coverage.

But it was that unfair coverage that allowed John McCain to get away with the numerous mistakes he was making throughout his campaign. His geography mistakes, his accidentally saying he wants to bomb Iran and Russia before getting corrected by Lieberman, the blatantly incorrect statements about the economy, foreign policy, and his own voiced political beliefs...

But with Palin, John McCain has thrown himself back on stage. This may make the McCain campaign happy, but it shouldn't, because now his mistakes are finally being reported on as well, and his complete incompetence is finally a news story.

In other words, there is a chance that his new popularity is what loses him the election. He may have had a better chance if he had simply stayed in the shadows, feeding on children's dreams or whatever else he does.

They Can Literally Do Nothing Right.

To review some of the more well known apolitical errors at the RNC:

1) Somehow John McCain ended up being in front of yet another green screen.
2) The Republicans, after (yet again) failing to do their research, had an image of Walter Reed High School in California behind McCain as he spoke, when they meant to put Walter Reed Medical Center, which is strange in its own right, considering the tremendous failures of Bush and McCain with the Medical Center itself.
3) The teleprompter was clearly a Democrat.

And now, to add onto the failures of the McCain administration (get it?), the Republicans used a song by the Seattle based rock group "Heart" called "Barracuda" to introduce Palin twice, first on the day she spoke and then when she walked in to meet up with McCain.

The band is made up of avid liberals, and the song itself was meant as a statement against corporate corruption, something they believe both McCain and Palin are a part of. The Republicans failed to ask Heart if they could use their music, and the entire Republican party has now been told that they, under no circumstances, are allowed to play the song again.

Wow.

----

Also, for fun, an official statement from the band:

"Sarah Palin's views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song 'Barracuda' no longer be used to promote her image. The song 'Barracuda' was written in the late '70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business, particularly for women. (The 'barracuda' represented the business.) While Heart did not and would not authorize the use of their song at the RNC, there's irony in Republican strategists' choice to make use of it there."

If the Election Ended Today

All conventions lead to bumps in polling data as people wowed by the speeches move from "undecided" to "decided." Those bumps tend to not be permanent, especially because after both conventions are over the two bumps tend to cancel each other out.

But in this case we are seeing some interesting signs - the country, for all its glory, has been far less stupid this year. Take the Palin pick - it does not matter if you like her or not. She very clearly was chosen because she is a woman. Is she qualified? Will she do a good job? That answer has a lot to do with your opinion of her and the parties (no and no). But the country has been far less predictable in how it welcomes her - they are looking at it critically, and although a large number of them are still making the wrong decision, at the very least it is a decision, not the blind following of leadership.

That brings hope. But that is just one issue. We will still have to see whether or not the speeches of the last few nights (as well as tonight and tomorrow) continue that trend. Yesterday we were treated to Joe Lieberman's awful, awful speech, where he was essentially saying nothing but praises about McCain's manhood:

"John McCain is all man. John McCain is made of penis. He bleeds testosterone and shoots bullets from his fingers."

Right after we were treated to Law and Order's Fred Thompson strange speech where he talked about McCain screwing a stripper and then went on for about 15 minutes on gore porn, where he discussed nothing but violence:

"John McCain was legally dead for 15 days. During that time he was sexually assaulted by rabid albino monkeys, some of whom weighed over 15,000 tons. Afterwards, John McCain woke up and subsequently knocked all of them unconscious with nothing but his big toe and a frito chip. Now, I'm not saying that's what makes this man qualified to be President. I'm saying that this man is qualified to be President because of everything I said."

The entire thing was a joke. Thompson's speech, despite its... um... eccentricities... was fine, because it was about McCain's character, which is the only platform he is really running on. But Lieberman's was hilariously awful. A true testament to a guy that doesn't know what he is doing. Here is where we see two speeches that people may still have "liked" in the end, but we have yet to see if they were taken at face value or if they were critically analyzed before people come to the wrong decision.

Today, we already have experience Bob Dole's interview on MSNBC where he was like "This is so exciting, what a great pick. I can't talk about her though because I don't know anything about her and have never met her, but she is definitely qualified..." Are people critically thinking about this? Or are they blindly following the propaganda?

My thought will be that even if these speeches work, if they are being thought about critically the "convention bump" would take place over a few days rather than right away, as people try to figure out whether or not they are going to agree with what was said. If immediately after Sarah Palin's speech the public thinks she was a great pick, then nothing has changed.

Sarah Palin's Drama

It has only been... What... 3 days since the announcement that Governor Sarah Palin was going to be the Republican running mate and it already looks like that decision is going to lead to the end of the McCain chance at a Presidency.
I had written previously that I was worried that Sarah Palin would affect the election - not necessarily by gaining votes, but rather convincing social conservative women that they definitely need to vote this year.

Luckily, that worry seems all but gone and if it were not for the hurricane, I would assume that it would be a complete wash by the Obama camp. In the last 72 hours, we have learned:

- John McCain in his "long search for a VP" never even bothered to check the local newspapers about Palin, as a Newspaper researcher went to Alaska and was told he was the first person to search the archives (Alaska's local papers are not online). So his "long search" was really a "hasty decision." And it is costing him.
- Sarah Palin was a member of an independence party that wants Alaska to Secede from the union that she is expected to lead. Yeah.
- Sarah Palin's unwed 17 year old daughter is pregnant, even though she is against sex education. She is "Choosing" to keep it even though she is not "pro-choice." The birth will take place when Palin would be sworn in.
- There is this awesomeness:

In her nationally televised speech accepting the job as John McCain's running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said she "championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress" and opposed federal funding for a controversial bridge to a sparsely populated island.

"I told Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that bridge to nowhere," Palin said Friday in Ohio, using the critics' dismissive name of the project. "'If our state wanted a bridge,' I said, 'we'd build it ourselves.'"

While running for governor in 2006, though, Palin backed federal funding for the infamous bridge, which McCain helped make a symbol of pork barrel excess.

- Troopergate. Maybe a stupid word, but it's still a big deal. Don't believe me? She just hired a lawyer for the case. Snap.

- Thankfully the hurricane passed without much damage. However, all of this information was released TODAY with the intentions of it being overshadowed by the hurricane. While we could discuss how vile it is to use a hurricane to hide news, instead all the attention is still front page of the paper, because the hurricane did not do enough damage to take over as the sole major story.

One thing needs to be remembered here. No one is blaming Sarah Palin for this. Yes, many of these things are her own fault and attest to her character, but as governor of Alaska they were much less important. Here, the blame is on McCain, for not doing his research and allowing all of these personal things to be made public because he was trying to take advantage of women voters by choosing a woman to be on the ballot with him.

You brought this on yourself old man.

An Interesting Occurance in Washington State

Call it political strategy in largely Democratic state, but two of the most contentious battlegrounds for the Republicans (the Governorship and the Bellevue house of Representatives Seat) are running candidates that are not just trying to distance themselves from the Bush Administration - they are trying to distance themselves from McCain.

Dino Rossi and Dave Reichert - both Republicans running for office, the latter for reelection - are not only not mentioning McCain in their speeches, but they are not going to attend the RNC and are talking about Obama as though he were their best friend.

Over and over in Rossi's speeches he talks about Obama and the change he is trying to bring to the United States, saying that change needs to happen in other areas besides just DC. Reichert is skipping the RNC and does not mention McCain once, ever, in any of his speeches.

Both of these are likely a response to poll numbers, as Reichert was more than happy to embrace the Bush Administration when he reached office and Rossi is simply a bad choice for the left leaning state - but what they do indicate, which I enjoy, is that McCain is linked to Bush so much that Republicans are afraid to mention his name.

Hopefully this is a sign of more to come, as the Palin pick will hopefully backfire in the old man's face.

Palin? Really?

Pick Strengths:

Sarah Palin is blatantly pandering to women. But it is not pandering to liberal women, it is pandering to undecided women. Unfortunately - and I say this with no ill will towards the undecideds - undecided voters tend to not critically think about propaganda. The better the propaganda, the more likely the undecided voter will go towards the less blasted candidate. I cannot tell you how many individuals I happened upon that were undecided that believed the John Kerry Swiftboat attacks. But it was all of them. That's a significant number.

It also almost guarantees a mistake by Biden that allows Republicans to paint the Democrats as sexist. And it's going to work, and he's going to make a mistake.

Pick Weaknesses:

She's not a good candidate. She's too good looking. She has no experience but, unlike Obama, does not even appear as though she is going to have experience. It would be like choosing my downstairs neighbor, if my downstairs neighbor was a hot mom. Also, the "VPILF" jokes (Vice President I'd Like to F-) Are going to be out in full force. She's really just... not good. If Bush was the president one would like to have a beer with, Palin is the Vice President that people want to buy a drink for.

Overall Thoughts On How This Will Effect the Election:

The effect of picks like this are measured by the amount of voters it convinces to go make a decision on who to vote for. How many will it convince? Not many. For every woman it gains it will lose a man, and for every woman proud to see a woman on the ticket, another will see it for what it is: the idea that picking a woman - any woman - is enough to convince women to vote for McCain, which is sexist, condescending and bullshit.

So the net gain will be roughly 0. However, what it won't measure but what will likely happen is that more Republican conservative women are guaranteed to go to the voting booths. And that sucks for the Democrats. You won't hear about it much, but Republicans always show up in force, and now that more Republican women have a reason to go vote, this pick looks bad for the Democrats.

OMG, Obama is Like, So Totally Elitist!

Hey loyal reader, let me bounce this question off you:

How many houses do you own?

I'll give you some time to think about it. Can't expect to have that information off the top of your head, right? Okay. Now, try to count them all out.

Somewhere between 5 and 9 right? Yeah, you and everybody else. No wonder super rich John McCain can't remember how many houses he owns, and thinks that you are only rich if you make more than 5,000,000 a year (but rest assured, the economy is strong!).

"Um... You know... Does that include condos? I'll have my staff get back to you."

I hate him so much.

Not to be Outdone, McCain May Choose Lieberman

Obama may be picking his running mate by Friday, and it is widely expected to be one of:

- Joe Biden
- Kathleen Sebelius (I, personally, think this would be a bad choice since it is too obvious why he chose her)
- Evan Bayh

There was also rumor that Obama may choose a Republican, though that appears to have slowly diminished.

So McCain's short list has been talked about often. And on his short list, the following names:

- Mitt Romney
- Joe Lieberman

Wait... What?

First off, no one likes Romney. Nobody. He lost for a reason, and that reason is that he's awful in every way. That is a bad, bad choice.

And Liebarman... is no different. No one likes him, he's a Democrat that won't bring in any Democrats, and Republicans only like that he was once a Democrat.

These choices make absolutely no sense. So... Um... Get on it, McCain! McCain/Lieberman or McCain/Romney '08! WOO!

Next Ad: Still Bad

My last post was about John McCain's stupid advertising strategy. This one is no different.

"Washington's Broken... John McCain knows it... We're worse off than we were 4 years ago..."

I'm confused how this makes John McCain the answer, when it is very clear that Washington being broken - something he was a part of for the past, oh, 20 years or so - may have something to do with him.

By the way, you know what Americans need to hear about? Tax cuts. We don't hear about that nearly as often from Republicans. Especially because they have worked so well before.

Also:


I really hate this guy.

John McCain: Buzzkill

Probable Conversation between John McCain and Political Adviser:
John McCain: Hey, I have a great idea for an advertising strategy.
Political Adviser: Great, let's hear it.
JM: It's huge.
PA: I like huge.
JM: It involves 6 million dollars.
PA: I like the way you think.
JM: Okay, we take those 6 million dollars.
PA: Yeah.
JM: We put all that money into Olympics ads.
PA: Yes, yes, I'm liking this. Go on.
JM: The world is focused on Patriotism and celebrity, and we show Obama as a celebrity, not a patriot.
PA: I like this, I think this could work, maybe get a few Olympians to throw their support behind you, maybe call you the gold medal winner, maybe...
JM: Yeah, yeah, or instead, we could get Britney Spears and Paris Hilton and compare him to them.
PA:
JM:
PA:
JM: What?
PA: You want to make an ad that compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears?
JM: Yeah!
PA: You don't want to highlight the Olympics, or patriotism, or anything like that.
JM: Nope, Paris and Britney.
PA: You want to interrupt the Olympics to compare Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.
JM: Yeah! What do you think?
PA:
JM:
PA:
JM: So go for it, then?

The Inside Dope

No, not Bush. It's the name of a website. I'd like to point out these two enjoyable posts from the past two days. There is this image, which I appreciate:

As well as these two images, that are also classic:


Zoomed

Good times. Good times.

What Loses the Election for McCain

There are a lot of issues that could lose this election for John McCain.

• There is Iraq, where he advocates a failed system.
• There is foreign policy, where his theories are the intellectual equivalent of shooting people that walk near his lawn.
  
• There is gay rights, where he was for it, then against it, then for it only when people who were also for it were near him.
• There is abortion, where he was pro choice, then not pro choice, then pro choice only when people who were also pro choice were near him.
• There is age, where his face is beginning to look like an adult diaper, and he probably also wears one.

I am inclined to think, however, that this story may be the story that does him in if it is properly utilized. It is that John McCain cashes his social security checks, totaling up to 20,000 dollars per year, while his wife made 6 million dollars last year and he himself made almost 200,000. And, in spite of taking that excess money from the government, he continues to say that Social Security is a failed system.

While anyone will admit there are problems with social security, most of those problems are the result of Republican politicians. And if he believes that social security is bleeding the government of money, perhaps he should, say, turn down Social Security benefits which he has the absolute right to do since he has 6.2 million dollars as of this past year alone.

Stephen Colbert's Project - Make John McCain Exciting

More of these videos are being released daily, and Stephen Colbert is showing them on the Colbert Report, but this one was particularly hilarious and needs to be appreciated by as many people as possible.

McCain Takes First Step Towards Becoming Total Ass

From the Seattle Times:

Sen. John McCain's allies have seized on a new and aggressive line of attack against Sen. Barack Obama by casting the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee as an opportunistic and self-obsessed politician who will do and say anything to get elected.

McCain typically leaves the sharpened criticism to others, in the hope of being able to claim the high ground of conducting a "respectful" campaign. But the abrupt shift in tone among his paid staff members, volunteer surrogates and other Republican staples of the cable-news circuit is unmistakable, and resembles the unified message the GOP used to paint Democratic candidate John Kerry as a flip-flopper in the 2004 campaign.

Man, good thing McCain sticks to his ideals. Oh, SNAP!


Bush Lite just got a little more fattening.