To Distribute On Telephone Poles Everywhere

I'm thinking this goes on every public board across the nation by August 2008.

McCain Defends Iraq

Listening to McCain speak is like torture. He used to be one of the only Republicans I respected. Now it's like listening to a senile old man rant about kids on his lawn. Though that is probably because he is a senile old man that rants about kids on his lawn.

When you pay attention to politics, you're often asked if you could be friends with someone of the opposite party. "Could you date a Republican?" or "Would you be friends with me if I were a Republican?" are questions I've heard quite often from various people I know.

Rarely is there a good answer to these questions. If I said "yes" I could probably think of several people I've disliked for their political beliefs, and it most likely hampered any likelihood I could ever be friends with them in the future. But if I said "no" I would be saying that a person's political beliefs are so important that they, as a person, are worse for them. And that's simply not true.

But it turns out that McCain is the answer to that question, because he has represented both sides of the spectrum at some point in his political career. When the answer was "Yes" it was because he held onto his Republican beliefs, but he didn't force them down anyone's throat, and if his party did something stupid, he knew it. He could form coherent arguments that, while I disagreed with them, were not something that offended me or made me think less of him as a person. And finally, his Republicanism was limited to Republicanism. He did not spew hate speech against blacks or gays or support people that did. No matter anyone's political beliefs, if they are racist or homophobic, I'm not going to be friends with them, and since many Republicans are social conservatives that are - at the very least - homophobic, that is a large chunk of the Republican party that I automatically can't be friends. But to be fair - it is not because they are Republican, it just happens that social conservatives that hate gays are usually Republicans.

But now McCain is almost definitely a "no." What has changed? Everything that I could have ignored. He spews propaganda rather than forming coherent arguments (he sees nothing wrong with saying Al Qaeda wants Barack Obama to win but that they see him as their worst nightmare). He supports more and more tax breaks for the rich without justifying them, just because Bush did. He supports Bush. He has no problems getting the endorsement from Christian Conservatives that he himself once referred to as "messengers of hate." He is a talking doll now, pandering to the same Republican principles that he used to say were bad for the party. That is the kind of Republican I could not be friends with. One that both purposely associates himself with homophobia, sells out to his own party and spews propaganda.

So that is the answer. If you believe in Republican principles, okay. I really don't talk about being a Democrat that often, so there is likely to be no clashing. If you are going to tell me Barack Obama is a secret Muslim, I'm going to call you an idiot and we're not going to be friends.

La Di Da Di We Likes To Pardon

We won't cause trouble, we won't bother nobody we're just some rappers that's on the mic, and when they rap up on the mic the rap the mic right.

That's... not accurate. Anyway, the new New York Governor, David Patterson, pardoned British rapper "Slick Rick" for trying to shoot his cousin and shooting a bystander in the foot.

Meanwhile, 143,12346,2,7457,3865,845,9,469,46494679437362,315435,2,523452346 people are still imprisoned for Marijuana. Good to know our priorities are in the right place.

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I propose a permanent banning of the word "Veep"

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John McCain does not have cancer. That means that I can continue to hate him without feeling guilty about it. So I approve. Good on you, McCain. Way to not be dying.

Primaries Tonight.

Is the race going to be over?

Also, sad news about Ted Kennedy. I hope things turn out well for him.

What is Wrong with the Republican Party

Here is everything that is wrong with the Republican Party, summarized in this New York Times photo:

John McCain. Eagle. Flag. NRA. You're not "More American" because you're too stupid to win arguments with your brain. And John McCain showing up specifically to impress gun wielding Americans should be a sign to gun wielding Americans that they are a disrespected demographic.

Also, if we are going to allow individuals with sub-100 IQ's to have guns, they should at least be required to carry this one:

That way, if you want to have a gun in your house, at least it's the absolute most feminine gun possible. Now you can make a choice: Either accept guns that are naturally emasculating or don't get one. I'd say that's a fair trade.

Edwards Endorsement

Where's the Jet Ski, bro?

Anyway, John Edwards endorsed Obama. This should come as a surprise to no one and it does not considerably change much of anything. One thought however: Get his name back in the mix for a possible VP candidate? I don't think that is out of the question, though the "John Edwards for VP" crew has not been out in as much force as I would have assumed.

Time will tell.

Bill O'Reilly Flips Out

Okay. Well. This may be the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Edit: They keep removing the videos due to TOS violations by CBS. Ridiculous. If this gets removed again, search for it on YouTube.

Barack Obama for President in 2008

This entire election, I've refrained from choosing between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama (as well as John Edwards and Bill Richardson when they were in the race) for the Democratic Nominee. This was because I have tremendous respect for both. Barack Obama is an amazing speaker, a proud liberal and a good politician. Hillary Clinton is a brilliant political mind who, although she may not be as liberal, would clearly be able to accomplish a lot and make fewer mistakes than possibly any president in history. By coming out on one side or another, I felt like I would have been demonstrating some type of dislike for the other candidate, which would have been erroneous. I liked all of them, and whoever was chosen I would have both accepted and been satisfied with.

But now the primaries are coming to a close, and I have decided that, although the election is not yet over, I am going to support Barack Obama outwardly from this point out. The man is a fantastic candidate. He can win. He's the one.

I would still support Hillary Clinton if she got the nomination, and I wouldn't whine or groan. She's still an amazing candidate and she is still a political genius - possibly better than her husband. But I did not think she would be the type of politician that would purposely help ruin her party just to get the nomination. She should be dropping out. I expected her to drop out. She has not dropped out. It is difficult for me to respect someone that puts the presidency over the Democracy.

So here's to Barack Obama. You have my support and blessing. Time to get out there and beat the fucking shit out of John McCain. Make him cry.

Don't Mess With Texas's Child Predators

Texas needs a PR department. The worst state in the continental US decides to opt out of not 1 but 2 different agreements with social network communities MySpace and Facebook about additional security safeguards against child predators. They will not give a reason for the opting out of signing the Facebook agreement. Their reason for not singing the MySpace agreement was "It does not do enough."

Texas's answer to not doing enough? Doing nothing. Good call.

There can only be two reasons for this: Either a) The Texas state legislature is worried the safeguards may prevent them from pleasuring themselves to the photographs of prepubescent males. Or b) All of the above.

Texas is the reason that giving more power to the states is a bad idea.

This Could Not Be Less About Politics

I'm not sure when I'll bother writing about politics again. Maybe when something actually happens. That would be super.

Instead, here is a guy named David Sides creating probably the best piano version of Chris Brown's "Kiss Kiss" humanly possible. Enjoy.

Woah - Have I not posted anything for 5 days?

In that case, here are some more graphs I made, for your viewing pleasure.

Edit: Wow, those look terrible. Click on them to see a larger size.

Social Commentary

The Outernet

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are neck and neck. The next primary coming up iszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Man, I could not find this election less interesting. I'm actually ignoring it at this point, after spending most of 2007 posting nearly every day about how excited I was. Sad.

So instead, I'm going to dedicate this post to something that has, apparently, fixed itself about 2 days ago without my knowledge.

Despite running one of these blogs, I don't read them that often. I used to, of course, but much like the XKCD comic:

I realized I was spending countless hours of my day fixing other people's mistakes. Worse, they were subjective mistakes, though as far as I'm concerned I'm still right.

I stopped reading them altogether, with the occasional exception - a few blogs that I would check once a week or so, simply to see what they're writing about at any given time.

One of these blogs, run by Spiiderweb, is run by a guy that posts 4-5 times per day and doesn't have a single ad. I have these ads on the side because I find it fun when I make 16 cents or so every 7 or 8 days (in my entire time blogging, I have made approximately $11.15 - Google does not pay you until you reach $100. Lame). So I have a lot of respect for someone that blogs for the hell of it. But recently I had noticed that he had not posted in over 5 weeks, with no mention of a vacation or trip coming up. There were over 9 comments from different readers worried about where he went.

It made me realize how... creepy the Internet is. Online, you can read what they put on here, comment, possibly even communicate. But once the person is offline, they don't exist to anyone. They may never have existed. They could be dead, they could be alive and well. There is no way to tell.

I think that's why I hate the Internet. Sure, I'm online often. I even work as an freelancer now for online content. But if it weren't for work or communication with both online and offline people that takes place through the wires, sometimes I wish the Internet didn't exist.

Spiiderweb came back two days ago. Apparently it was Internet/Blogger issues. Welcome back. Still, it is something that continues to bother me - an issue with blogger, and as far as anyone else is concerned, that person no longer exists. I need to get offline more. The Outernet awaits.

I Love Summer

Background: Some years back, my friend and I submitted this to a poetry site to poke fun at the generally meaningless poetry people submitted. The responses we received consisted of: "This really touched my heart. Your summer reminds me of some of mine." and "A puzzling piece, however I love the ambivalence of the words within. I get the feeling the speaker of the poem is searching for something worthwhile within the "efficient chaos", and that he/she feels wrong within the world (the chaotic situation the speaker describes being a metaphor for the world today). A struggle for identity perhaps...Interesting piece." Among many, many others. Sad. After recently posting this elsewhere as a joke, I feel like bringing it back here, so at least I'll be able to refer to it with more ease in the future. Enjoy.

I Love Summer

Blood curdling screams of horror and love
Surrounded by thousands of happy, everlasting bunny rabbits
Squashing them to my amusement and dismay
"Mother!" I cried

A well of darkness flows unkempt
Igniting the flame in the sea of my soul
Molesting my fantasies into nightmares
Belying the powers that are unknown

Chasing the end of a colorless rainbow
Illuminated by the candy rope in the tunnel
Rabid kittens gnaw internally
Meowing softly to the music

My scabbed heart sweats pus
A diuretic page of my thoughts
Expressionless chickens mock me
Efficient chaos ruling nothing

Indecisive 'societies' of war
Vanity lies in the grooves of the make believe
Shards of thought, slicing deeper
I love you too, Pippin

Um...

Did I just see an advertisement with both Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich making stupid jokes and advocating dealing with global warming?

I don't like this strange new place. It's cold and scary.