EVANGELICALS DEMAND A ‘WHITE CHOCOLATE’ JESUS

This is a gem from the Satirical Political Report.

What's funny is how Falwell and all the Christian right made fun of Muslims and Islam for being mad at the Mohamed Cartoon (which actually made fun of Mohamed, rather than a chocolate version of him). Hypocrites.

EVANGELICALS DEMAND A ‘WHITE CHOCOLATE’ JESUS

The Reverend Jerry Falwell issued a statement today explaining that the Christian Right had no problem with the concept of an anatomically correct “Chocolate Jesus,” but was adamantly opposed to a “racially incorrect Chocolate Jesus.”

The “My Sweet Lord” display in New York City, canceled last week in response to “a choir of complaining Catholics,” was created from more than 200 pounds of milk chocolate, and thus, according to Falwell, falsely implied that Jesus was a black man.

Although many historians believe that Jesus may well have been black, evangelicals insisted that white chocolate should have been used, not only for Jesus, but for candy Easter Bunnies as well. As James Dobson, founder of Hocus-Pocus on the Family, put it: “Let the Jews use dark chocolate in their Hanukkah gelt, they’re all going to hell anyway.”

William Donohue, the omnipresent talking-head cable guy of the Catholic League, was also outraged: “How would the Muslims feel if the artist had done a ‘Falafel Mohammed’ during Ramadan?”

Pat Robertson also angrily condemned the display, claiming that the rather substantial size of the chocolate penis further fed the myth that Jesus was black.

Robertson further complained that the chocolate penis was circumcised, claiming that “the artist is also trying to falsely depict Jesus as a Jew.”

However, the Rev. Al Sharpton maintained that the work of art “wasn’t black enough, since everyone knows that white men can’t jump, let alone rise.”