Friday, June 22, 2007

Bush falls below Jar Jar Binks in latest poll

I found this on "The Night Shift" by Greg Sidor:

Bush falls below Jar Jar Binks in latest poll

By Greg Sidor, Satirical Correspondent

A Newsweek poll shows President Bush's popularity at a new low of 26%. This makes Mr. Bush the least-popular commander-in-chief since Richard Nixon.

More ominous, it marks the first time a president has fallen below the notorious Binks line, a measurement used by pollsters that compares one's popularity to universally loathed "Star Wars" character Jar Jar Binks.

"Pollsters usually mark Binks' approval rating at a steady 27%," said analyst Richard Gibbons of Numbers, Inc. "That's usually made up of people under various forms of mental distress, and we think a percentage of them may not even know who Binks is, so they haven't developed the proper sense of disgust the general population maintains."

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow was quick to try and spin the bad news.

"It may seem bad at first, but let's not forget that Binks went on to rise up the ranks in 'Star Wars,' eventually becoming an important member of the Galactic Senate," Snow said.

Snow wouldn't comment on other results of the poll, which revealed that 56% of Americans would rather have a beer with Jar Jar Binks.

"It certainly calms my mind a bit," said filmmaker George Lucas. "For a time I was afraid I'd created the most disappointing, wildly incompetent character in history. It's good to see the boys in Washington still have the gusto to surpass the best in Hollywood."

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