Crap.

Loch Ness Monster sighted again? My answer: No.

I went to college: "Amateur Scientist" = "Dumbass with Camera"

Romney a Douchebag?

Mitt Romney, in an effort to appeal to conservatives Republicans Philanthropists, has decided to donate his entire presidential salary to charity - showing once and for all that Mitt Romney has a shitload of money more money in tax breaks than he would make as president perfect Republican presidential credentials. Yep, he's just like your average Joe. I can hear his next talking point now:

Hello Conservatives. I am just like you. I don't use big words like "Polysyllabic" and "Sesquipedalian," and I certainly don't exacerbate my quandaries exponentially similar to that of the alternative candidates.

Sounds like a winner, Mitt.

Cindy Sheehan Quits

Woah.

By Cindy Sheehan

I have endured a lot of smear and hatred since Casey was killed and especially since I became the so-called “Face” of the American anti-war movement. Especially since I renounced any tie I have remaining with the Democratic Party, I have been further trashed on such “liberal blogs” as the Democratic Underground. Being called an “attention whore” and being told “good riddance” are some of the more milder rebukes.

I have come to some heartbreaking conclusions this Memorial Day Morning. These are not spur of the moment reflections, but things I have been meditating on for about a year now. The conclusions that I have slowly and very reluctantly come to are very heartbreaking to me.

The first conclusion is that I was the darling of the so-called left as long as I limited my protests to George Bush and the Republican Party. Of course, I was slandered and libeled by the right as a “tool” of the Democratic Party. This label was to marginalize me and my message. How could a woman have an original thought, or be working outside of our “two-party” system?

However, when I started to hold the Democratic Party to the same standards that I held the Republican Party, support for my cause started to erode and the “left” started labeling me with the same slurs that the right used. I guess no one paid attention to me when I said that the issue of peace and people dying for no reason is not a matter of “right or left”, but “right and wrong.”

I am deemed a radical because I believe that partisan politics should be left to the wayside when hundreds of thousands of people are dying for a war based on lies that is supported by Democrats and Republican alike. It amazes me that people who are sharp on the issues and can zero in like a laser beam on lies, misrepresentations, and political expediency when it comes to one party refuse to recognize it in their own party. Blind party loyalty is dangerous whatever side it occurs on. People of the world look on us Americans as jokes because we allow our political leaders so much murderous latitude and if we don’t find alternatives to this corrupt “two” party system our Representative Republic will die and be replaced with what we are rapidly descending into with nary a check or balance: a fascist corporate wasteland. I am demonized because I don’t see party affiliation or nationality when I look at a person, I see that person’s heart. If someone looks, dresses, acts, talks and votes like a Republican, then why do they deserve support just because he/she calls him/herself a Democrat?

I have also reached the conclusion that if I am doing what I am doing because I am an “attention whore” then I really need to be committed. I have invested everything I have into trying to bring peace with justice to a country that wants neither. If an individual wants both, then normally he/she is not willing to do more than walk in a protest march or sit behind his/her computer criticizing others. I have spent every available cent I got from the money a “grateful” country gave me when they killed my son and every penny that I have received in speaking or book fees since then. I have sacrificed a 29 year marriage and have traveled for extended periods of time away from Casey’s brother and sisters and my health has suffered and my hospital bills from last summer (when I almost died) are in collection because I have used all my energy trying to stop this country from slaughtering innocent human beings. I have been called every despicable name that small minds can think of and have had my life threatened many times.

The most devastating conclusion that I reached this morning, however, was that Casey did indeed die for nothing. His precious lifeblood drained out in a country far away from his family who loves him, killed by his own country which is beholden to and run by a war machine that even controls what we think. I have tried every since he died to make his sacrifice meaningful. Casey died for a country which cares more about who will be the next American Idol than how many people will be killed in the next few months while Democrats and Republicans play politics with human lives. It is so painful to me to know that I bought into this system for so many years and Casey paid the price for that allegiance. I failed my boy and that hurts the most.

I have also tried to work within a peace movement that often puts personal egos above peace and human life. This group won’t work with that group; he won’t attend an event if she is going to be there; and why does Cindy Sheehan get all the attention anyway? It is hard to work for peace when the very movement that is named after it has so many divisions.

Our brave young men and women in Iraq have been abandoned there indefinitely by their cowardly leaders who move them around like pawns on a chessboard of destruction and the people of Iraq have been doomed to death and fates worse than death by people worried more about elections than people. However, in five, ten, or fifteen years, our troops will come limping home in another abject defeat and ten or twenty years from then, our children’s children will be seeing their loved ones die for no reason, because their grandparents also bought into this corrupt system. George Bush will never be impeached because if the Democrats dig too deeply, they may unearth a few skeletons in their own graves and the system will perpetuate itself in perpetuity.

I am going to take whatever I have left and go home. I am going to go home and be a mother to my surviving children and try to regain some of what I have lost. I will try to maintain and nurture some very positive relationships that I have found in the journey that I was forced into when Casey died and try to repair some of the ones that have fallen apart since I began this single-minded crusade to try and change a paradigm that is now, I am afraid, carved in immovable, unbendable and rigidly mendacious marble.

Camp Casey has served its purpose. It’s for sale. Anyone want to buy five beautiful acres in Crawford, Texas? I will consider any reasonable offer. I hear George Bush will be moving out soon, too…which makes the property even more valuable.

This is my resignation letter as the “face” of the American anti-war movement. This is not my “Checkers” moment, because I will never give up trying to help people in the world who are harmed by the empire of the good old US of A, but I am finished working in, or outside of this system. This system forcefully resists being helped and eats up the people who try to help it. I am getting out before it totally consumes me or anymore people that I love and the rest of my resources.

Good-bye America…you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can’t make you be that country unless you want it.

It’s up to you now.

She certainly crossed the line between political activism and mild lunacy, but it is still strange to see her go.

Around the Globe: News

Another exciting edition of news around the globe:

- Bush decides that Mass Murders in Sudan are bad. The 145,000 Deaths in 2005 alone in the Darfur conflict warrants "Tighter Fiscal Penalties" for a country with no money. Great Solution.
- Iraqi women, forced to flee from their homes, are forced to become prostitutes in Syria
- Kazakhstan women are apparently very, very attractive. Link here, here and here. Pamela Anderson loses her appeal. Take that Borat.
- Um... Sick. Read this.
- The New Iraq Plan must be working perfectly, since May has been the deadliest month of the year for the US soldiers in Iraq. That was the new strategy, right? Let our own people die? No? Oh, then disregard that last one.

Nothing is on TV

So I'm watching the Miss Universe pageant. Sorry. Normally I would be partial to China, but she's not impressing me this year. So I'm going to route for Flaviana Matata, who is Miss Tanzania. She has the most attractive face out of all of them and She is also 100% bald. Good luck Tanzania.

One More Time - My Iraq Music Video

YouTube isn't giving me many searches. Neither is Google. I would be trying harder to get it on people's sites but I'm busy with work and it is getting lost in the shuffle. So I apologize for consistently putting it on my website, but it took me days to make. Please sign on to YouTube and give me 5 stars, or share with your friends, post it on Myspace or Facebook or whatever. The song is by Utada Hikaru, entitled "Sanctuary" in case you like it.

I'll be on vacation until Tuesday. Everyone have a good Memorial Day weekend.

Hot Sauce of the Week

That's right, it's the Ass Kickin' Cajun Hot Sauce. Kick Yo' Ass Hot!

Dog Tricks

It took me less than 2 hours to teach my 6 month old puppy how to bow on command. It took the Democrats... what... 3 months to bow to Bush's command?

To be fair, I don't necessarily blame them for letting Bush have his Iraq spending bill. Not giving money to the troops is political suicide, and I didn't celebrate with cinnamon alcohol in November, 2006 only for them to lose again in 2008. Iraq may be issue number 1, but let's not forget issue's 2-1,374 that the Republicans f'd up in their 12 long years in charge. I do blame the hyphen-D's for letting him have it so easily. I would expect more of a long diatribe from people like Joe Biden, or more outrage from the presidential candidates or Nancy Pelosi. What they should have done, at the very least, is made the benchmarks more strict and require the administration to provide constant updates.

Oh well.

Liberty University Idiot's Extra Credit

A wonderful example of the Reverend Jerry Falwell's work.

Mark David Ahl, A Liberty University student, worried that people may disrupt the reverend's funeral today, decided to take matters into his own hands:

LYNCHBURG, Virginia (CNN) -- A first-year Liberty University student was arrested in what police said was a plot to detonate explosive devices Tuesday, the day of the Rev. Jerry Falwell's funeral.

Mark David Uhl's intended target is unknown, authorities said.

ABC News reported the youth told authorities he had made the bombs -- which were found in his car -- to stop protesters from disrupting Falwell's funeral. (Read the story about Falwell's funeral)

Police received a call about 11 p.m. Monday from one of Uhl's family members, who said they had talked with him and he had "mentioned some explosive devices he had made," said Maj. Steve Hutcherson of the Campbell County, Virginia, sheriff's office.

Authorities found in Uhl's vehicle "what appeared to be about six explosive devices" that had detonation devices with them, Hutcherson said. The homemade devices were canisters with some kind of liquid inside.

Wow. Just Wow.

Hey! Look at Us! We Invaded Your Country!

According to the Guardian, the US has decided it is not satisfied simply building an embassy in Iraq. It has to build a fortress the size of the Vatican.

The building, at an estimated cost of £300,000,000 (592 million dollars), is one of the only buildings build "on time and on budget." It is destined to be the largest US embassy on the planet.

The administration originally claimed that the embassy's purpose was to act as a beacon for Bush's plan on spreading peace and democracy across the middle east. It could be argued, however, that it was simply Bush trying to immortalize his role in conquering the country or, perhaps, a statement about the size of his manhood (tiny). Whether it was compensatory or planned for immortality, the city-long fortress covers 104 acres, is made up as 27 buildings and house about 615 people in bomb proof walls.

The US ambassador ... will enjoy a little more elbow room in a high-security home on the compound reported to fill 16,000 square feet (1,500 sq metres). His deputy will have to make do with a more modest 9,500 sq ft.

They will have a pool, gym and communal living areas, and the embassy will have its own power and water supplies.

But commentators and Iraq experts believe the project was flawed from its inception, and have raised concerns it will become an enormous, heavily targeted white elephant that will be an even greater liability if and when the Americans scale back their presence in Iraq.

Really? But... But it's been built in the "green zone" so it must be safe, right? I mean, McCain took a leisurely stroll in the market.

But it is unlikely Bush wanted to give the impression that the US has taken over Iraq, right?

Since the overthrow of Saddam Hussein in 2003 about 1,000 US diplomatic and military staff have been using one of his former palaces as a make-shift embassy, which several observers have criticized as giving the regrettable impression that the Americans merely replaced Saddam's authoritarian rule with their own.

Oh. Snap.

Ironically, officials believe it may not even be large enough to house the sheer number of people who will remain in Iraq, including diplomats, army servicemen, and others rushing in and out of Iraq at any given moment.

Already, however, there have been suggestions that the compound will not be large enough to house hundreds of diplomats and military personnel likely to remain in Iraq for some time. Scores of US officials are currently housed in trailers which are vulnerable to bombs landing on their roofs. According to a report by McClatchy News, staff members have complained about the dangers only to be told they must wait until the new embassy is ready to take them in.

Toby Dodge, an expert on Iraq at Queen Mary, University of London, has just come back from a month spent in Iraq, largely in the Green Zone. He thinks the Americans are unlikely to pull out of Iraq fully until the end of the next presidency at the earliest, and so the new embassy will serve its purpose for several years to come.

"A fortress-style embassy, with a huge staff, will remain in Baghdad until helicopters come to airlift the last man and woman from the roof," he said, adding his own advice to the architects of the building: "Include a large roof."

There is one added irony - the embassy is one of the few major projects the administration has undertaken in Iraq that is on schedule and within budget.

Well, no one said Bush didn't do something right.

By the way, despite the mounting criticism, the embassy is still scheduled to open, fully staffed, in September.

Al Gore's New Book

Itching in anticipation, Al Gore's new book, "The Assault on Reason"

Here is the book description from Amazon:

A visionary analysis of how the politics of fear, secrecy, cronyism, and blind faith has combined with the degration of the public sphere to create an environment dangerously hostile to reason

At the time George W. Bush ordered American forces to invade Iraq, 70 percent of Americans believed Saddam Hussein was linked to 9/11. Voters in Ohio, when asked by pollsters to list what stuck in their minds about the campaign, most frequently named two Bush television ads that played to fears of terrorism.

We live in an age when the thirty-second television spot is the most powerful force shaping the electorate's thinking, and America is in the hands of an administration less interested than any previous administration in sharing the truth with the citizenry. Related to this and of even greater concern is this administration's disinterest in the process by which the truth is ascertained, the tenets of fact-based reasoning-first among them an embrace of open inquiry in which unexpected and even inconvenient facts can lead to unexpected conclusions.

How did we get here? How much damage has been done to the functioning of our democracy and its role as steward of our security? Never has there been a worse time for us to lose the capacity to face the reality of our long-term challenges, from national security to the economy, from issues of health and social welfare to the environment. As The Assault on Reason shows us, we have precious little time to waste.

Gore's larger goal in this book is to explain how the public sphere itself has evolved into a place hospitable to reason's enemies, to make us more aware of the forces at work on our own minds, and to lead us to an understanding of what we can do, individually and collectively, to restore the rule of reason and safeguard our future. Drawing on a life's work in politics as well as on the work of experts across a broad range of disciplines, Al Gore has written a farsighted and powerful manifesto for clear thinking.

The Assualt (sic) on Reason - Of the two, you would think that Bush's last name would be Gore. He certainly has caused more of it.

Old joke, sorry.

Axe - Now with More "Bom Chicka Wah-Wah"

This must have been tarded once before, since it is so re-tarded now.

Oh, snap, that's right, the Bush administration is awful at everything. The story (emphasis added):

WASHINGTON — A major CIA effort launched last year to hunt down Osama bin Laden has produced no significant leads, but has helped track an alarming increase in the movement of al-Qaida operatives and money into Pakistan's tribal territories, according to senior U.S. intelligence officials.

In one of the most troubling trends, U.S. officials said al-Qaida's command base in Pakistan increasingly is being funded by cash from Iraq, where the terrorist network's operatives are raising substantial sums from donations to the insurgency as well as kidnappings of wealthy Iraqis and other criminal activity.

The influx of money has bolstered al-Qaida's leadership ranks at a time when the core command is regrouping. The trend also signals a reversal in the traditional flow of al-Qaida funds, with the leadership surviving to a large extent on money from its most profitable franchise, rather than distributing funds from headquarters to distant cells.

Al-Qaida's efforts were aided, intelligence officials said, by Pakistan's withdrawal in September of tens of thousands of troops from tribal areas along the Afghanistan border where bin Laden and his top deputy, Ayman al-Zawahri, are believed to be hiding.

Little more than a year ago, al-Qaida's core command was thought to be in a financial crunch. But U.S. officials said cash shipped from Iraq has eased those troubles.

"Iraq is a big moneymaker for them," a senior U.S. counterterrorism official said.

Read the full story here.

G.O.P. Hopefuls Clash Over Who is the Whitest

Another classic from the Borowitz Report:

G.O.P. Hopefuls Clash Over Who is the Whitest
Court Elusive White Male Voter in Televised Face-off

In a nationally televised debate last night, the ten candidates for the Republican presidential nomination engaged in a battle royal, with each candidate staking his claim to the title of the whitest white male in the G.O.P. race.

With the elusive white male voter holding the keys to victory in the G.O.P. nomination, all ten candidates seemed mindful of reaching out to that often-forgotten voting bloc.

The question of “who is the whitest” came up in the opening minutes of the debate held on the campus of the University of South Carolina, where hundreds of concerned white male voters gathered to hear the candidates speak.

“Not only am I the whitest male in this race, I am the whitest male named Thompson in this race,” said former Wisconsin governor Tommy Thompson in an apparent reference to former Tennessee senator Fred Thompson, who is poised to become the eleventh white male vying for the G.O.P. nod.

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney went on the offensive when he cited his “impeccable whiteness credentials,” telling the crowd, “I was a governor, a businessman, and before that, a generic white male Clipart character.”

But perhaps the most electrifying moment in the debate came from Sen. John McCain of Arizona, who at 70 years of age would be the oldest white male ever elected president.

“With all due respect, I have been whiter longer than any of the men on this stage,” he said, to thunderous applause.

Elsewhere, the U.S. Postal Service announced that it would now charge 41 cents to lose a first-class letter.

Ron Paul - The Man, The Myth, The Cryptkeeper

This is an open forum for all those who support Ron Paul of believe he "won" the Republican debates.

I have to ask the question - why do you like him? And I pose this question to you because, as Republicans, I'm assuming you're not aware of the hypocrisy in supporting a candidate because he's anti-war, but still claiming the Democrats are soft on terror because they are anti-war. When the Democrats go against the administration, the right wing boos and hisses, but when this Republican (actually Libertarian) congressman goes against the administration, people refer to it as "leadership qualities." Other than that, there are no real differences between him and the other candidates. Oh, except that he wants to abolish the IRS. Because, apparently, taxes are bad. Okay then.

Obviously I'm bias against Ron Paul - and really all of the Republican candidates - but, barring that, I would like someone to answer the question honestly:

Why Ron Paul?

He's Singing in Korean

For fun, here is the YouTube video of Stephen Colbert's Korean Music Video making fun of Rain (BI) for beating him as the most beautiful person in a Times online poll.

And, for those of you who care, here is the original music video actually by "Rain" that the Stephen Colbert video is based off of:

Immigration Deal in the Senate?

This is good news.

From the New York Times:

WASHINGTON, May 17 — Senators from both parties announced an agreement this afternoon on immigration-reform legislation that would bring illegal immigrants and their families “out of the shadows and into the sunshine of American life,” as Senator Edward M. Kennedy put it.

The bill would provide an opportunity “right away” for millions of illegal aliens to correct their status, said Mr. Kennedy, Democrat of Massachusetts. It would emphasize family ties as well as employment skills in weighing how soon immigrants could become legal residents, he said.

But it would also emphasize improved border security and would call for “very strong sanctions” against employers who knowingly hire illegal immigrants, according to Senator Arlen Specter, Republican of Pennsylvania.

Both senators acknowledged that the proposed bill, which was immediately praised by President Bush, is likely to come under fire both from the political right and the political left — decried either as “amnesty” or as “not humanitarian enough,” as Mr. Specter said.

To become legislation, the proposed bill would have to be approved by the House, which has had serious differences with the Senate on the issue. The House has tended to emphasize border security more than ways to allow immigrants to become citizens, and any mention of “amnesty” for illegal aliens has been anathema in the House.

Still, Mr. Kennedy said that the bill, however imperfect, was the best chance in years to secure America’s borders, help millions of people who have been living in fear and help to eliminate a sad and sordid “underground economy” in American life.

Read the whole story here.

Military Intelligence?

This really, really saddens me.

From YouTube:

Jerry Falwell Has Died

The Rev. Jerry Falwell, who founded the Moral Majority and built the religious right into a political force, died Tuesday shortly after being found unconscious in his office at Liberty University, a school executive said. He was 73.

-Story-

Here are some Falwell's controversial quotes/remarks from Wikipedia:

Falwell was a controversial subject for his theological, political and social beliefs. After the September 11, 2001, attacks Falwell said on the 700 Club, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" (a sentiment with which Pat Robertson concurred). After heavy criticism, Falwell apologized. As for homosexuality, Falwell remarked, "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals." Falwell's ghostwriter, Mel White, said Falwell remarked about gay protesters, "Thank God for these gay demonstrators. If I didn't have them, I'd have to invent them. They give me all the publicity I need."

During the Civil Rights Movement Falwell was a supporter of racial segregation. He said this about Martin Luther King, "I do question the sincerity of people like the Reverend Martin Luther King..."

In honor of Jerry Falwell's passing, here is a photo of the world being a better place:

Ken Griffey Jr.'s Jock Strap

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the greatest player ever. Come back to Seattle.

The story of "The Kid's" jock strap (hope I don't get any sick searches). Story via The Unemployed Writer.

Ken Griffey Jr. was being heckled by a Dodger fan when the Cincinnati Reds took on the LA Dodgers. Here is what the fan said on his blog:

I was going to try and get in Ken Griffey Jr's head a little bit. He had to walk right by us to get to the dugout and I just couldn't help myself. So I started with the basics: YOU SUCK..SHOULDN'T YOU BE ON THE D.L...TOO OLD FOR CENTER....that kind of stuff.

Well, by the 2nd inning he was looking right at me giving me the looks. When he walks in from the 6th inning he decided he had enough and came over to talk some smack. He called me some fat references which was hilarious and then he told me I couldnt touch the threads on his jock…

I then told him to show me what he’s got, that he talks a big game and then I told him to limp back to the dugout where he belongs and I even said some things about his Mom. I told him I might be fat, but I could still play center field:) It was an incredible exchange to say the least. After the 6th inning he walks out and stops to talk to me holding a brown paper bag in his hand. He motions to throw it to me and I told him no, I know that trick. He laughs and says catch it, so I put up my hands and he tosses it over. He wouldn’t leave until I opened it and when I finally did, the whole place erupted with laughter. Griffey throws me his jock…

The now prized jock strap owner, whose blog is here, admitted he can't win against the best player of my generation:

Everyone on the field level was having a blast watching us get into it. ... When Griffey came back in, I told him I was sorry about what said about his mom and that I wanted to make up. He shot me a grin. When he came out in the 8th he shot me another smile, and I told him he still has the greatest swing in baseball. I hope he heard me, I think he did. I love Griffey. In fact, some of my first Dodger games were because Griffey was playing and my boy was a huge fan of his in Seattle. He may be the greatest fielder of all time, but when you come to my stadium, you're fair game. I totally got into his head. He went 0-3 and finally got a little base hit in the 9th. I gave him some props for the hit.

Don't Mess with Griffey.

Ted Haggard's New Job?

The subject of this post was supposed to be a "tasted the rainbow" joke, but I lost it. Kept the title, though.

Is this news?

Texas Man Charged in Skittles Heist

A little candy can add up to a rainbow of trouble.

A man caught removing tires from a truck has been charged with stealing the tractor-trailer containing $250,000 worth of Skittles, police said.

Seven pallets of the 28 in the truck are still missing, authorities said. Alan Chavez, 22, has been charged with first-degree felony theft. It was unclear Monday whether he had a lawyer.

Chavez said he had paid someone else $500 for the truck's rims and tires, police said. The truck has an estimated value of $85,000, and the trailer's value is $30,000

White House Seeks Lying Czar

I hope the guy from the Borowitz Report doesn't mind how often I reprint his material. If you do, Andy Borowitz, let me know and I will stop. Also, if you are looking for someone to help write for you on the side, let me know as well.

From the Borowitz Report:

White House Seeks Lying Czar
Would Coordinate Distortions about Iraq, Afghanistan

The White House in recent weeks has been quietly searching for candidates for the position of “lying czar,” a high-level administrator who would oversee all distortions and misrepresentations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a White House source confirmed today.

News of the administration’s search for a “lying czar” raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many insiders believe that the White House already has enough personnel to handle the creation and dissemination of war-related lies.

Specifically, many insiders wonder why an administration that already has advisor Karl Rove and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice would also need a “lying czar.”

“The Bush administration has a lot of world-class manpower, lying-wise,” one insider said. “This whole ‘lying czar’ thing seems like an unnecessary layer of bureaucracy.”

But White House insiders disagree, saying that those who believe a “lying czar” is unnecessary are oblivious to the overwhelming volume of distortions that are sorely in need of coordination at a high administrative level.

“On any given day, the Defense Department and the State Department will produce lies that are directly in conflict with each other, and that’s counterproductive,” one insider said. “A ‘lying czar’ would change all that.”

Professor Davis Logsdon, who holds the Clifford Irving chair at the University of Minnesota’s School of Communication, says that the need for a “lying czar” reveals certain weaknesses in the current Bush cabinet.

“When I hear that the White House is looking for a lying czar, one thing becomes clear,” Dr. Logsdon said. “They really miss Rumsfeld.”

Elsewhere, responding to criticism, the National Gardening Association said it would no longer use the term “hoe.”

Why My Coffee Addiction is Okay

From Psychology Today:

Decaf: The Next Disorder?
Caffeine withdrawal merits a listing in the latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, but research shows it can also have some positive health benefits.

Should a slip in the daily routine prevent you from quaffing your "cup of ambition," you probably don't need a caffeine researcher to tell you what will happen next -- you will start to feel sick.

So sick, in fact, that caffeine withdrawal merits inclusion in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, the official roster of psychiatric maladies, according to a review of 170 years of research.

What's next on the list: "bad seafood syndrome" or "chocolate fever"? Roland Griffiths, professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical School and the study's lead researcher, says the proposal is no joke. While some have argued that psychiatry pathologizes normal human predicaments, he believes caffeine withdrawal's inclusion in the DSM will help physicians and psychologists be sensitive to its sometimes debilitating symptoms. Java addicts and Diet Coke fiends may suffer more than the usual headache and fatigue, he insists. Depression, irritability or even flu-like nausea and muscle pain can result when users are denied their fix, even if they normally sip just one cup per day.

And while coffee addicts fervently attest to caffeine's benefits, and claim they can't greet coworkers or turn on their computer without it, Griffiths says that's the addiction talking. As their tolerance to the stuff increases, the stimulatory effects diminish. Eventually, morning java just staves off withdrawal.

Despite having christened a new disorder, Griffiths doesn't think there is anything wrong with caffeine dependency, unless you are pregnant or suffer from anxiety or heart problems.

A Bad Rap

A few cups a day may do more good than harm. Moderate coffee drinkers are at decreased risk of Type 2 diabetes, gallstones and colon cancer. They also show improved cognitive function and develop fewer cases of Parkinson's disease.

Yeah, that's right, coffee helps you. Take that - every person whose every told me it didn't. Psshhh.

Quick News

News of the week:

# Libertarian Ron Paul apparently "won" the Republican presidential debate. His twin brother, the Cryptkeeper, remains unconvinced.

# According to newly surfaced tax records, Rudy Giuliani once donated money to Planned Parenthood. Republicans quickly aborted any his chances at the presidency.

# Six incredibly stupid terrorists videotaped themselves practicing to kill U.S. troops, went into a shop and tried to have it copied to DVD. They have been arrested. The seventh member, unfortunately, is still president.

Meet Farfur, the Palestinian Brainwashing Mouse, from the Unhappiest Place on Earth

I wish this were fake.

From YouTube:

I don't care how anti-Israel you are, this is some pretty sick shit.

AP -

"You and I are laying the foundation for a world led by Islamists," the cartoon character squeaked on a recent episode of the show, which is titled, "Tomorrow's Pioneers."

"We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers."

Children call in to the show, many singing Hamas anthems about fighting Israel.

News articles about Farfur: Here, here, and here.

------------------------

Update: 3:00 PM - I have seen a few reports that the translation might be fake. I'd be a bit surprised since the AP broke the story, but anything is possible. Has anyone else heard anything?

Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel

Actual beginning of the Super Nintendo game titled "Zero, the Kamikaze Squirrel":

Overview:
The evil lumberjack, Jacques le Sheets is chopping down Zero's home forest, Stony Forest, to print paper money off of stolen plates. His love, Amy has given him the information from telegram also stating that Jacques has her father as well. Ektor doesn't want Zero to leave, but Zero knows what's important and leaves to save his forest. Using various items at your whim and nifty swooping and jump attack you can get back to your forest ad rescue what's left!

Directions:
Use your squirrel swooping and jumping attacks along with your ninja stars to kill enemies in your path to save your forest that is in danger. Look for doors that inflate to enter secret caverns for tons of helping items. Grab candy, ice cream and coins for a better score. Gain Z's for life and find ninja stars for more throwing stars! Stock wisely!

Video Games used to be so cool.

Videos from YouTube

Here we have our "President", George W. Bush, spewing another one of his classic Bushisms by referring to the queen of England as over 200 years old.

From YouTube:

The British are none too happy. Link the Guardian article.

Meanwhile, I haven't done a good job plugging the video I made. So here it is again below. Please support your fellow blogger by giving it 5 stars on YouTube and putting it on your blog or Myspace or whatever. I need the stars to give it some authority on YouTube. It's no Paris Hilton Sex tape, but I'd appreciate the exposure.

Thanks. The video:

Limbaugh and Imus

This is more proof that NeoCons are racist.

From the Seattle Times:

Limbaugh draws fire on Obama parody

WASHINGTON — Weeks after radio personality Rush Limbaugh began airing a parody song, "Barack, the Magic Negro," about Sen. Barack Obama's popularity with many white voters, it is drawing fire from critics who say it is racist.

The audio clip features a comedian imitating the singing voice of the Rev. Al Sharpton, bemoaning Obama's popularity with whites who will, the lyrics predict, "vote for him and not for me 'cause he's not from da hood.

I remember Michelle Malkin on Fox claiming that there is a double standard in the media, because if a conservative was racist, they would be fired, while if a moderate/liberal was racist (Imus) they would get to keep their job.

Remember that.

George Bush's Dumbass Head on a String

This is an air freshener of Bush. It hangs on my rear view mirror. There's nothing too spectacular about it except every time you walk towards your car and see this hanging through your window, it is fun to say "Hey, it's George Bush's Dumbass head on a string."

The photograph links to the amazon sales site. It costs like 2.99 if you want to pick one up for yourself. Smells pretty good too.

Michelle Malkin Vs. Shabazz

I don't know the background, I don't really care. But I found this on YouTube. It's a guy named Shabazz (Shabazz?) Calling Malkin a political prostitute.

I'm a little disappointed, though, that people keep stealing my one-liners. I used the phrase "Political Prostitute" over 126 days ago. Thanks to technorati for allowing me to search my own site. I also used the phrase "Conservative Concubine" so if you hear that on the news, that person is stealing my phrase too. Hooray for alliteration.

News from the Smaller Blogs

Here are some recent posts by some smaller liberal blogs:

• Uncomfortably Numb encourages congress to impeach Cheney first.
• From the Back of The Pew writes about her thoughts on Imus, Hillary Bashing, and Chris Matthews.
  
• Impleader writes about the White Man's Burden (a poem).
• What Goes Around (The Offering) writes about being a good mother.
  
• Show me the rules writes about "insulting Islam" - a piece about searching for the word "Islam" on Google News.
  
• Political Artwork - There is no specific post that is impressive, because the entire site is interesting. They (he? she?) shows a photograph and make it political. Photos like this:
• Teresa's two cents writes about a heartless crime against children.
  
• The Passionate Center supports the troops.
  

I plan to do more posts like this. If you're a liberal leaning blog, big or small, you should try to support the less well-known blogs as well. It seems unfair that, say, DailyKos will only re-post or discuss things from Talking Points Memo. Everyone knows about those two blogs. They monopolize themselves.

Republican Presidential Debate: Reagan Count

So the final tally: The phrase "Ronald Reagan" was spoken by the Republican candidates a surprisingly low 17 times. The word "Reagan" was uttered during the entire debate a total of 29, but that included "Mrs. Reagan", "Reagan Library" and any time it was spoken by Chris Matthews.

I have to admit, I'm surprised at the low Reagan turnout. Although euphemisms are not included in the final number, and there were a few of those.

Rudy Giuliani preferred to hear a different phrase:

"When you had this debate last week and all the Democrats were up here, I never remember the words 'Islamic fundamentalist terrorism' being spoken by any of them."

You're right, Giuliani. Because unlike the Republicans - and really, unlike all the non-mayor candidates - they run on more than one platform, with things like "ideas" and "plans" for the American people. You, Mr. Mayor, have nothing. And this may come as a surprise, but trying to scare the crap out of people - sadly, not an actual plan for America. Good campaign strategy, it did work in 2004. But no, it's not a plan.

I look at the candidates and I think to myself:

"I wish I had a paper bag to throw up in."

God damn, that mission is so freakin' accomplished

In fact, it's so accomplished that he's changed his title from "The Decider" to "The Commander Guy."

Yes it has been over four years now since "Mission Accomplished" and Iraq has been thanking us with Firecrackers ever since. I wish there was more news on this, but it has been its own ironic cliche for almost... well... 3 years and 10 months now.

So instead, I'm going to show you a picture of a Cowon A2:

Sweet.

Luckily Iraq is not the only thing on trial. With the recent story about Alberto Gonzales's aid Monica Goodling hiring people based on their political views (illegal), as well as Wolfowitz's blunder, we may experience one of the first political failure eclipses. Their incompetence will all align at once, and the United States will be covered in darkness.

Just like Bush's first day in office.

Should we call this "MissionAccomplishedgate?"

"The question is, 'Who ought to make that decision, the Congress or the commanders? As you know, my position is clear – I’m the commander guy."
---George W. Bush

If You're Looking For Me You Can Find Me On the Block Disobeying the Law...

...A real "g" thoroughbred from the streets pants sagging with my gun in my drawers.
-Akon


It would suck if your name was "Resident." You wouldn't know what mail was yours.